The Art of Reflection

A New Chapter

2008-07-25T12:42:00.003+08:00

Dear Family and Friends,

This post is written to notify you that I have been fully ordained since 6th July 2008 at Santi Forest Monastery as a Theravadin Monk of the Thai Forest tradition.

Santi Forest Monastery is in Malaysia, Johore. Due to visa constraints as I am a Singaporean. I am required to return to Singapore every month to get my passport stamped and stay in Palelai Buddhist temple (at Bedok) for a few days before heading back to Malaysia again.

I have also relinquished my handphone as I don't really get to use it much in Malaysia. If you wish to contact me, you may email me at: thubtenningje@hotmail.com if you would like to request for the temple's telephone number where i can be reached.

I took this time in Palelai to update this info in hope to create less misunderstanding amongst my contacts who still assume that i am still a layperson.

I'd like to take this opportunity again to seek forgiveness from all of you if i have done anything through body, speech and mind that might create unhappiness.

Also like to thank all those who sent me regards during my ordination and those who came down personally to witness the ordination ceremony.

With metta,
Phra. Atiphalo

Vicious Cycle

2008-05-14T15:21:00.002+08:00

There seem to be no end... so i decided to put a stop and let everything go.

I've been trying to complete my "last task" before going to Santi during Vesak. I learnt that we do not need to complete mundane stuff for it is impermanent and not really mine at the first place/in the end. So just leave it as it is... When its time to go, nothing else matters.

It was such a coincidence yesterday when i was sending a notification to MINDEF regarding my overseas trip to Malaysia, Bhante Ong gave me a call, informing me that the abbot of Santi, Ajahn Kheng, would be conducting a retreat this weekend at Palelai temple and advised me to talk to Ajahn Kheng. I might be able to hitch a free ride to Santi together with him.

2012

2008-05-07T13:01:00.002+08:00

Many believe its the end of the world based on some "reliable" predictions... Even Bhante Mahinda mentions about this year and told us to prepare by practicing well. For those who doesn't know what its all about, you can watch this vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iZ54i2rCZk

Yea, since im into American politics... i came across several interesting documentaries which depicts 2012 as not the end of the physical world, but rather a day of world domination. Check out these vids:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plcPHEXM5Fs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuBo4E77ZXo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dmPchuXIXQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5xtjxRySbg

In Buddhism, the suttas mentioned about a wheel turning monarch that is going to conquer the world not through force... I wonder whether it will be this soon...

This World Still Needs Heroes

2008-05-04T12:37:00.004+08:00

Watched Iron Man on a Friday night @ Yishun GV cinema. Very cool movie. I won't write a standard review cuz the internet's full of them...

It has a subtle message to its content though. About the war in the Middle East. Its all about some American war mongers trying to make profit out of the weapons industry. I guess its been like that for a long time since before the gulf war... Testing their new weaponry on the actual war and showing off to the world how powerful their weapons are... then selling it to other countries who covet them...

If you're a Marvel fan, then you'll get to understand how SHIELD manages to fund its high tech base up in the air after watching this movie...

As for the storyline, this version is definitely much logical than some old cartoon version whereby he made the armour with the help of a magician... all thanks to the current terrorist issue.

Moral of the story 1: Learn to do the artillery drill well. Prone on the ground facing away from the bomb and cover your neck with your hands... Otherwise the shrapnel will enter your heart and you might need to live on batteries for the rest of your life.

Moral of the story 2: Keep spare batteries in case you lose it...

Moral of the story 3: Right livelihood... avoid trading weaponry, living beings, intoxicants, poison and anything unethical. You don't have to wait till you are close to death to realise the wrongdoings you have done and start to change(but usually that's the case... ppl only wake up until smth drastic happens)

Moral of the story 4: Make sure you make good company of friends. You'll never know when you need help... Maintain good relationships and try not to break the trust of your friends.

Moral of the story 5: Work hard + work smart = success in completing your objective

Be sure to stay till the very end of the credits which im sure many would have left their seats... well if you have missed it, you can take a look at this vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGgLZFdINpg&feature=related

They'll probably come up with Iron Man 2 featuring War Machine and start the Avengers movie...

I remembered those days in primary school when i watched the Iron Man cartoons... brings back great memories in the arcades. I even made a costume of Iron Man(actually its cupboard paper boxes... talking abt recycling...) during my secondary school's NPCC annual camp.

Comic heroes = Spiritual role models???
Thanks to all the comic artists for inspiring billions of people, including myself, for sharing your hard work and creativity.

Man of Irony

2008-04-30T23:36:00.002+08:00

This is not a movie review on 'Iron Man' although im going to watch it this Friday... It is about a friend that i knew of and an incident which made me think of it as an irony.

This friend which i met long ago persuaded me against the idea of getting ordained and encouraged me to lead a happy married life. During those days, like any average young man, he was desperately seeking for a girlfriend. Given our different backgrounds, i kinda ignored what he "advised" me. I still thanked him for his "advise" since he meant well.

Recently, he chatted with me via msn and told me of his personal problems of breakup with a girl and sought for some advise... At that instant, it seemed to me like an irony that he should be seeking advise from me with regards to managing relationships even though he knows im planning to become a monk. Gave him some advise which i learnt from monks' talks(irony...) which managed to help him. Due to the respect of privacy i'll not disclose the full conversation but list down some meaningful quotes being mentioned...

"A good relationship is one that both sides respect each other as they really are...
and not expectation of what you want ur partner to be"

"A lasting relationship is when both your thoughts are on par and have same objectives in life"

"When you are with somebody, give 100% attention to them...
not on some imaginary images from the past"

I hope he sees the value in the lives of contemplatives who live a celibate life, free from attachments and have a clear mind to give useful advise to help people of all walks of life. To others, it may seem like a sacrifice for these contemplatives... but to them its a reward to experience the bliss of freedom.

I aspire to be such a contemplative one day... understand one's mind, understand all the problems of the world.

2 More Weeks

2008-04-22T13:43:00.002+08:00

Went to Palelai last Sunday and talked with Bhante Ong regarding ordination. Guess what... he asked me to follow him to Santi forest monastery in Johore to get some conditioning. After when im ready, they'll send me to Thailand for 5 years to get ordained and to train under a good master. Lol... back to square one.

Bhante called me earlier this morning and told me there was a shuttle bus from Palelai to Santi this coming Thursday and asked if i could follow him... I wanted to go but i had to reluctantly reject this trip as i've got a community service event this Sunday to see through. He then told me the next shuttle will be 2 weeks later and will confirm with me again.

So currently im on standby for activation. Have to free myself from making further commitments and let everything go. Man its like preparing for death again... Reminds me of a practice i learnt from Bhante Mahinda...

Everyday when we sleep it is like dying, what is the last thought in our mind? Are we upset, stressed or relaxed? So try to seek refuge, forgiveness and get into the state of lovingkindness.
When we wake up it is like being reborn, what is the first thought in our mind? Are we grumpy or happy? So try to get up with lovingkindness.
In the middle of the day when we get tired it is like ageing, so age with wisdom. Maintain mindfulness throughout the day so the dying process would be easier.

Old Habits Die Hard

2008-04-11T10:54:00.005+08:00

Im back in Singapore on the 9th April... Some may ask why I have returned 1 month ahead of schedule. The reason is because there will be no Sangha left in Aloka. Sister Sumitra flew back to Singapore at the end of March to visit her mother while Venerable Mahinda had an invitation to fly to USA on the 10th April for some scientific research. Bhante(means 'teacher' - that is what we normally refer Venerable Mahinda) was very kind to open his door for me to return if i have not yet found a place to ordain. Even if i got ordained at some other places, I could still look for him if i had problems... Such a great person.

Both Bhante and Sister are really great meditation masters and i really learnt a lot from them during my stay in Aloka. However great they might be, there are other factors to consider that i never thought that i would encounter which might be obstacles to my ordination or progress along the spiritual path (for those of you who are keen to get ordained maybe you could add them into your checklist as well):-

1) Bhante is a missionary monk and travels a lot... that's fine but he has no other monks under him that i could seek guidance and learn from when he is not around.

2) Visa complications overseas

3) Health issues - I cant stand the cold weather in Australia

That led me to conclude that im a fool to search for places to get ordained overseas when i could get ordained right here i the local temples where the conditions are all there. Though may not be very conducive for practice due to the busy city temple life(that was what i thought of last time)... I was proved wrong during my stay in Aloka when they too had many services for the local community and had many projects to keep them busy. Despite all the hectic schedules, they took it as an opportunity to train their mindfulness in their daily activities. I too, was given many duties to do and only had the early mornings before breakfast and the nights to do some quiet sitting (not much of a retreat eh?).

I had to do things that i never got a chance to do in Singapore like:-
-Cutting grass, weeding, mulching and planting like a gardener(kinda fun driving a grass cutting tractor)
-Digging drains, wheelbarrowing soil, carrying rocks like a construction worker(ok not too bad cuz that is what we guys normally do in the army)
-Feeding 5 cats, 2 ponds or fishes and a guanna(a giant lizard which resembles to a smaller version of the komodo dragon) like a zookeeper(i love animals so its rather enjoyable)
-Prepare food like an assistant chef(man i suck at this cuz i don't cook... normally i juz buy from coffeeshop)
-Clearing rubbish and bringing the bins out for the rubbish collectors to collect(those who live in HDB flats won't get to do this)
-Sweeping leaves like a road sweeper

There is so much work to do that i had no time to shower daily... I had to shower once every 2-3 days, wear the same set of clothes for 1 week and only had time to wash my clothes once a week. On the other hand, the other lay residents staying in Aloka shower daily and wash their clothes as frequent as i take a shower.

Initially i was whining and complaining in my mind for the overwhelming work and lack of welfare... then i realised that these negative thinking pattern was my weakness. The mind likes to dwell in the past experiences and project into the future. These little hardships are part of the training to create conditions to stir my mind and get me upset. The challenge is how to overcome this problem and silence the mind from thinking and rethinking. This reminded me of the similarities of the training in the first Karate Kid movie...

That is where the practice of mindfulness comes in. To be just aware of the activities in the present moment and not project the mind into the past and future. This is no easy task to accomplish and perhaps it requires a whole lifetime of practice to be really at peace in the present moment all the time. A head on rehabilitation approach to overcome this bad habit... that is the only way. No short cuts to free the mind... it's all about practice.

Friends

2008-02-16T07:12:00.002+08:00

Time is short... been trying to meet up my friends before i fly to Australia. Have to take this opportunity to thank all my friends even if i didn't have the opportunity to meet them personally. Made many friends in my life and have no enmity towards anyone... except for George W.Bush... lol. Have forgiven and let go of those who have pissed me off in the past. If there are anyone who has enmity towards me, i sincerely seek forgiveness from whomever it may be.

Who is with you all the time when you are down?... Tom? Dick? Harry? Jesus? God? Buddha?
I'd say my own conscience is with me all the time.

Attended NUSBS nite yesterday which gave me a new perspective of friends. Their theme was on 'Kalyana Mitra'... Pali term for virtuous or spiritual friend. Ven Dhammaratana from the Buddhist Library gave a very good talk on this subject.

The Buddha mentions that the guarded mind is the best spiritual friend while the unguarded mind is the worst enemy. The guarded mind prevents and minimises unwholesome or evil states of mind from arising while developing and maintaining good thoughts. The guarded mind prevents one from associating too much with unwholesome people and enjoys associating with wholesome ones... this is where the external spiritual friends come into picture. People who will not disappear when you are in trouble, help you out of your problems, rejoice in your success, keep your secrets... etc from the Sigalovada Sutta.

As the saying goes, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Global Warming Hoax

2008-02-12T16:44:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io-Tb7vTamY&feature=related

What we've learnt in schools are just one sided views? Well that is science, every theory/fact can be changed anytime when there are new discoveries. If we take whatever we learn in school as an absolute truth and not change with new discoveries... then it really defeats the essence of education.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orfX_nbYTSs&feature=related

Oh ya... Btw, polar bears are doing fine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKAC4kfHruQ&feature=related

Saving the Planet?

2008-02-12T07:50:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7W33HRc1A6c&feature=related

After watching this entertaining controversial perspective towards environmentalism, i came to reflect on my intention... Its kinda similar with religions.

1. Some people practice it for their own security perhaps out of fear of what will happen in the afterlife.
2. Some people just tag along like sheep and enjoys the companionship.
3. Some people need to have a sense of achievement due to self improvement.
4. Some practice it so that they can help others.

Again, i placed these options in sequence to Maslow's Theory hierachy of needs.

In the Diamond Sutra, the Buddha having a discussion with Ven Shubuti on emptiness, said that when we are trying to save someone, the bodhisatta have to realise that there is no person saving and no person to be saved... Sounds so profoundly cool.

Anyway... when we go green, are we trying to save ourselves or save the planet?

Societies' Propaganda of Truth

2008-02-12T00:20:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJ4SSvVbhLw
After watching the short video by George Carlin, it really hit me as it resonates with what i feel in this society as well... I guess all countries will have their own propaganda for themselves... but not for the individual. Im not into politics, but i know the "owners" of my country have to beat something into our heads so that we can move as a nation.

Success in life... That is what our parents, teachers, friends, relatives and the society in general drill into our heads when we are young. What kind of success in life? Nobody knows...

Getting good grades?
Getting good job?
Getting married?
Setting up a family?

These are some of the few societies' propaganda which i got disillusioned with back in my school days from what i observe around me. Is this our purpose in life? I know that i can't change the society to suit me. The only way to find purpose is to get out of this system... out of the matrix of false views and propaganda.

Happy Chinese New Year 2008

2008-02-11T01:05:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year once again... finally through with all the house visits. This years Chinese New Year ain't that bad for me... I don't get to hear my relatives ranting about my plans for ordination. Perhaps its too late for them since im flying off for my retreat next week. Glad to see most of my cousins for the last time before i go.

Did i mention "most"? To my family, CNY is just an excuse to meet up once a year tradition kinda thing. Some of my relatives got divorced while some of them passed away, so we didn't get in touch with their family. To me, my relatives are alien enough considering just seeing them for a while once a year. Not to mention super alien ones... new life partners of recently divorced relatives. House visits seem shorter and shorter... relationships further and further.

Guess that would be my last CNY celebration as a layperson. Now its my time to get out of the picture as well.

Rambo Rant

2008-02-05T11:03:00.000+08:00

Rambo is my childhood hero... and the latest movie was filled with high expectations based on the clips i watched on youtube. Thanks to Singapore censorship, i only get to watch 85 minutes out of 95 minutes of the whole film. I paid $7.00 last night so that i can watch all the action and gore and they took away 10 minutes of the best parts...

Thanks to Singapore censorship board I'll be supporting illegal downloading of movies. Id rather get poor picture quality and watch all the content. What is the point of giving it an N-16 rating when they censor 10 minutes of the film? Why bother releasing it in the cinemas to the public at the first place? What is the point of censoring a cool action scene of slicing off a head and blowing a head off by a GPMG when the other scenes of gore, blood and blown up body parts still remain in the film?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M1KiXWWTxg

The film is great, just that it sucks and spoils everything after going through the Singapore Censorship Board who shows no respect for film producers and great actors.

Mysticism: Key to Inter-Faith?

2008-01-29T00:50:00.000+08:00

I got a Christian friend who has problems dealing with stress and seeked my advice on this matter. The last thing i wanna do is to mention about a different religion to the distraught individual. So i carried on with my counselling, with a Christian perspective...

I managed to convince the individual that worrying is the overfabrication of the future, which is not real and unhelpful to the situation. I also managed to convince the individual to channel the energies from worrying and put their attention to God instead. This way, God can handle the "unsolvable problems" created by the mind while that individual can focus on carrying out their task. The counselling was successful and that individual was encouraged and lifted.

I believe that if one practices their own religion well enough to achieve a certain level of wisdom, they could be able to relieve the stress from others of different religions. To reach deep spiritual wisdom, one has to practice mysticism. Meditation is the key.

Ron Paul = Real American Hero

2008-01-17T06:30:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG2PUZoukfA

Ok, im not an American but that doesn't mean Singapore or the rest of the world would not be affected by what America is doing. I've served my NS and i know what kinda crap we have to go through when Bush declares war on terror and doesn't even know the means to end it.

The only US candidate that stands out is Dr Ron Paul. There are a few reasons why he's my hero:-

1) He intends to run as president for the people <-- doesn't take any corporate sponsors in his campaign unlike Hilary or Obama who basically gets owned by corporate rich aristocrats.

2) Anti-war policy <-- Doesn't support the Iraq war. Mind their own business.

3) Follows strictly to the constitution <-- The Bush administration got America into deep shit for not following that

4) Liberty <-- doesn't implement religious ideologies down into schools and into peoples throats

5) Polite and nice fella with high integrity and consistency

6) He's way more intelligent than Bush

Overall, he's like a "Maha Thera" who keeps strictly to the "Vinaya" in Buddhist terms. Watch the link above and you'll get to see his wisdom in his principles and ideas.

So Singaporeans, be prepared for more shit to come for the next 4 years if Hillary or Obama gets elected in November. Cuz when they continue to support the war, their country will continue to get screwed.

Conversation with God

2008-01-15T05:13:00.000+08:00

Ok.. i know this is the title from one of the best selling books, but it isn't about that. Its about my experience. I've been holding back not to post this as it would be quite sensitive... but heck it, freedom of speech.

Alright, past few months i've been busy getting involved with Christian activities... going to church for services camps and so on. I wouldn't say it was very comprehensive, but i would say it is rather sufficient for my personal research on this issue "Conversing with God' which most or would i say all Christians claim to have.

What got me intrigued is that they can hear God speak to them and they believe that God is an Almighty being.<-- At least to the majority of Singaporean Christians.

Based on my understanding... you really gotta be a big shot if God had to speak to you and you could hear His voice. In Buddhism, only yogis with psychic powers could have a good chance of communicating with heavenly beings eye to eye. As for a lay person, our virtue has to be really good in order to attract guardian deities. Even so, making contact with them is very rare or almost impossible.

Speaking to God is no issue, anyone can do it. Of the Christians i met so far, most of them claim they can hear God speak to them. Being an open-minded skeptic, i thought of a few possibilities:-

1) Like what they said, God is really speaking to them word for word
2) Perhaps it is just an inner voice produced by the mind
3) Maybe some of them made this up in order to keep up with their peers
4) They might have over-exaggerated their testimonies
5) I could have misunderstood what they meant by 'hearing God'

For the benefit of doubt and for the sake of discussion, i'll remove option 3.

Ok... for option 4 and 5, some Christians claim that God speaks to them by giving them little signs here and there in everyday life to learn from. So they call it 'hearing from God' which is actually going through life experiences/challenges. Ok, kinda like Zen and Buddhist mindfulness and all, so i'll take that. Just different ways of doing it but same results... just like saying the lights are turned on vs the lights are not turned off.

Now lets talk about option 2... Cuz i believe this is the one that some Christians believe they are hearing... their own mind. We have lots of inner speech going on in our mind, we have thoughts going through our minds and manifests itself through subvocalisation.(voices). Surprisingly, most people speak to themselves... eg. some people swear to themselves when they do something silly.
Sometimes we have thoughts and ideas that we have never come across before in our life... that is where some people believe it is from someone else, probably a higher being. And since they like to speak to themselves, there seem to be a 2 way conversation taking place...
Our mind is pretty random and not ourself. We have not much control of what we wanna think. sometimes a whole movie can just play in our minds without us knowing it. Some people like to daydream because its free entertainment.

Nevertheless, i still feel its different labelling again... just like 'the lights are turned on vs the lights are not turned off' anology. They can call it God speaking to them, to me its just the inner voice of the mind. Everyone has their right to believe in what they want to believe.

One thing for sure is that the Buddhist training system will clash with this "conversation with God" in option 2. Because the Buddhist practice of meditation is to still the mind and not create noise. The truth will surface within the silence.

That is all for my personal research and conclusions so far with regards to conversation with God.

No Right, No Wrong

2008-01-15T04:23:00.000+08:00

Whatever decision you make, it is neither right or wrong. It depends much on the options you have at the moment, the conditions at that time. There is no point regretting about the past decisions being made, cuz that was the best you chose at that moment given the condition you are in (be it sleepy, stressed, awake etc...). The options you have then are pretty much the info you knew so far (beliefs, education, preferences etc...)

I was posed a question during the Y_Fellowship training after a competetive game. We were asked whether would we be still kind and cooperative to each other when our survival is at stake? Although i've gone through many similar activities as such, i've never thoroughly reflected on this point... or maybe i did but forgotten.

I feel that it is very much related to our spiritual development. The amount of control and restraint of ourselves. One good analogy is the post Vietnam war effect on American troops. It was in a documentary long time ago.

A group of soldiers were ordered to kill civilians in a village. As soldiers, they have to follow orders or else they will get court marshalled and probably be sent to a military prison to face hardships for a long time. However, a soldier refused to obey that order because he felt it was wrong to do so. He was sent to a military prison when they returned to America while the other soldiers returned to their families and were celebrated as war heroes. Over time, social and psychological problems caught up to those soldiers that killed the villagers. When the soldier who did not kill the villagers was released from military prison, he got back to a normal life while the other soldiers who killed the villagers had to go through lots of counselling and psychiatric treatment.

We have the ability to choose... but the options are limited by the knowledge and perception we have. Gotama Buddha, during his past lives as a Bodhisatta, he gave up his life just to feed a few hungry lion cubs with his body. Some people may think it was a bad decision as he could develop his spiritual training in some other way, but to the Bodhisatta, it was the best option for Him then. He had the knowledge that there is rebirth and he could continue his training in His next life, He understood non-self, that is why He was able to do it.

Another point to bring up during Buddhist discussions... people always get confused between 'street smart' and 'wisdom'. When we mention people putting money into alms bowl of bogus monks, we cannot say that they have compassion but no wisdom.... they just do not know of the customs and traditions. But lets say we informed the person that he had given money to a fraud and he reacts:-
1) calmly as he is able to let go of his money and attachment<-- this is wisdom
2) getting agitated and angry<-- no wisdom

To me, wisdom is the ability to overcome unwholesome states of the mind by knowing how to apply mindfulness in our daily lives.

Fly On

2008-01-14T20:34:00.000+08:00

Finally, i got my air tickets settled. Will be flying to Australia for my 3 month retreat. Details are as follows:-

Departure:
Singapore Changi SQ 0219, 18th Feb, 0940 Hrs, Terminal 3

Arrival:
Sydney, 2015Hrs, Terminal 1

Departure:
Sydney SQ 0234, 17th May, 1735 Hrs

Arrival:
Singapore Changi, 2350 Hrs

Y Fellowship?

2008-01-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

Why fellowhip? Buddha mentions that spiritual fellowship is important in spiritual development. KMSYM is starting a Y_Fellowship or youth fellowship program in March to provide services to the youth in a weekly basis.

http://www.kmspks.org/youth/index.htm

I've been invited to attend a series of workshops conducted by KMSYM to train youth leaders in preparation for the Y_Fellowship. Although i may not be able to contribute after the course as i'll be flying to Australia, I hope i can help out whatever i can for the course and wish all the best for this new initiative.

Although there are Buddhist youth groups and activities existing, I suppose there aren't enough of them for adequate publicity and awareness. There are Buddhist youths out there who feel left out as they do not know where to turn to for their religious/spiritual needs. I hope this Y_Fellowship could propagate the Dhamma to those who need it.

Happy 2008!

2008-01-02T21:30:00.000+08:00

I wish all sentient beings a happy 2008!

"It is not the number of New year countdowns we go through, rather the experience we've gone through that counts in making that year meaningful..." - Ven Kwang Sheng

This new year countdown craze in Singapore started in year 2000 and we've been doing it religiously every year ever since. What is time? Just another man made empirical measurement from moment to moment. All the while we've been counting down to all sorts of events in our lives... exams, birthdays, holidays, payday etc...

We've gone through so many countdowns for various events in our lives... always expecting... will we ever grow enough to stop counting down and just let events come to us? To be wise enough so that we can be equanimous to face any situation coming at us just like the Buddha?

Helping Yourself = Helping Others

2007-12-29T18:19:00.000+08:00

Paul told me that he learnt the positive qualities from me during the old BS days and found it helpful. With some Dhamma knowledge he learnt in BS, he says that a lot of the things in this world around him makes more sense. I was taken by surprise by what he told me. I didn't know that I could make that much impact on his life. I guess every little action we do counts in affecting others.

Our perception is broadened by our knowledge. Knowing the Truth would mean that we could see the reality of things as they really are, be at peace with oneself and the world. That is why the gift of Truth excels all other gifts.

Korea

2007-12-26T19:15:00.000+08:00

Just returned from Korea yesterday. It was a tiring and cold journey, having to transit flights within Korean airlines to Jeju Island the first day when we reached Seoul. After some sightseeing for a few days, we had to take a flight back to Seoul. Main attractions were skiing, everland, spa, lotte world, casino, traditional Korean costume photoshoot, kimchi school and shopping.

It was winter there. There was snow all over the ground but it wasn't snowing. Looks like global warming has taken toll on the climatic patterns. Its cold outdoors, but once we get indoors, it'll feel warm with all the winter clothing on.

All the Koreans i've seen so far were rather slim. Non of them were obese. I guess its due to the kimchi they eat every meal. Their diet consists of lotsa veggies. The tourguide taught us some Korean history, culture, language and speak some basic Korean words as most of the Koreans do not understand English.

I guess that would be the last overseas vacation i would be having with my family.

Shopping Sux!

2007-12-17T15:49:00.001+08:00

Got this interesting email from a friend regarding consumerism in our modern society. I strongly recommend you to watch the video link at the end of this post... Perhaps we should add 'stop shopping unnecessarily' as part of a religious commandment. Screw the economy, save the world.

What is the Story of Stuff?
From its extraction through sale, use and disposal, all the stuff in our lives affects communities at home and abroad, yet most of this is hidden from view. The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It'll teach you something, it'll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Receiving Christ

2007-12-17T14:31:00.000+08:00

Back from Malaysia last night from a Christian youth camp. Met a primary schoolmate who introduced me to her church camp. Since i happen to be available till my next overseas trip, i agreed. I've been to sevices from independant churches but it was my first time to a Christian youth camp. It would be interesting to know what they are going through.

Caught a bad flu the night before the trip. Informed my friend that i may not be able to go. She replied that she would pray for my recovery. Well, that was kinda encouraging so i rested early hoping to be able to make it the next morning. Still had flu but i brought some back up medication to relief the symptoms. Met with my friend and went to her church, Zion Gospel Mission. We played some ice breaking games and took the bus to Katerina Hotel at Batu Pahat.

They got a good speaker, Pastor Steven from Australia, to give talks during the camp. What i found interesting was that i found much of the teachings rather similar to Buddhism. The jargons and terminologies that they used were different. The concept and philosophy were different, but it points more or less towards the letting go of the self. It was only during the third day that i got to have a private talk with Pastor Steven and got those info from him.

They have to open and surrender themselves to the Holy Spirit. And they want to receive Jesus all the time, unlike some other religions which receives spirits or deities for a limited time. He also mentions that other religions find spirituality by working from outside in, while Christianity starts straightaway from the inside by opening themselves to Christ.(To me its just a different method of reaching that inner peace) He prayed for me and asked me whether i wanted to receive Christ. I liked the idea of surrendering myself and told him okay.

Yea, so i have received Christ, may i use Him to remove my inner maras/demons.
Comparing what i aspired years ago when i taken refuge:-
Yea, so i have taken refuge in the Buddha, may i realize the Dhamma to remove my inner maras/demons.

See... different aspirations, roughly about the same amplitude, more or less the same transformantion. I guess it is still up to the individual to work hard and change for themselves.

Proud to be Chinese?

2007-12-08T08:44:00.000+08:00

Everyone seems to be in the China fever... learning the Chinese language and so on... just to fill their pockets? Always disagreed with my Chinese peers when they said we are supposed to be proud of our roots. Not speaking Mandarin and not supporting the Chinese culture is my way of boycotting against the China craze. So what if it is a big country... just look at the ethics of the majority of the average Chinese... They suck big time. The glorious past they are so proud of is now HISTORY.

I've just read a news article regarding HH the Dalai Lama.
http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=70,5514,0,0,1,0

China appointing their own religious leaders so as to gain control of their people? Might as well create their own religion.

I can understand why some Americans aren't too proud of their country when they keep screwing up other countries...

Our beliefs and cultural baggage are illusory and has been deluding us for far too long. Time to let these go, stop following other cultures when we are supposed to live in our own. Live life now and stop chasing phantoms. We are just us... adding titles to ourselves don't make us more superior. Thinking i am Chinese, i am a professor, i am tall etc... illusory titles which will fade away in time.

Warning Letter

2007-12-05T14:05:00.000+08:00

Wah... i kena a warning letter from MINDEF for not notifying them for my overseas travels yesterday. It states there that NSmen have to notify MINDEF when going overseas for more than 24hrs. Repeat offenders will get fined up to $2000. Jialat... have to email them about my overseas plans already.

Back from USA

2007-12-03T15:29:00.000+08:00

Just landed in Singapore yesterday. How I longed to get back home. Personally, i feel that Singapore is better. Heres my review on my holiday trip:

Flight: 18 hours on Singapore Airlines. Basically just following the tour group around. Not much admin or logistic problems since the tour guide settled most of it. Shiokest thing was that i got to watch lotsa movies on the plane.

Los Angeles: Reached LA airport. Took bus to Annaheim hotel i the City of Annaheim. Went to 2 theme parks. Disneyland and California theme park. There were only a few thriling roller coaster rides, not as great as the rides in Australia though. Nevertheless i enjoyed myself. I've been sitting so many roller coaster rides in my life until i became fearless of them.

Next interesting visit was Universal Studios in Hollywood. Got to see several 3D shows as we would see in Science park in Singapore, mini bus tour around the studio where we got to see how they made movie effects realistic and a few more roller coaster rides.

People who are overweight on wheelchairs get to have priority over the long queues. Overweight on wheelchairs? Yes, It is my first time i saw so many people who are so obese that they have to be put on a wheelchair. Moreover their wheelchairs are all remote controlled... just like from the X-men. They really love eating lotsa junk. Talking about delicacy... Food in Singapore is more superior in terms of variety and economically.

Las Vegas: The gamblers paradise... But i dont gamble. So I played the arcade with the other kids while the parents watched the Vegas night shows or gamble in the casinos. There are so many hotels in Las Vegas and every hotel has a casino. The arcades there really suck. Few variety of games and poor maintainance cuz most of the machines are malfunctioning. Singapore arcades rule.

Grand Canyon... One of the greatest nature sight seeing experience in Arizonna where the native Americans thrive. It is there that the White and Black people have no say over the Red Indians. It is like a country of its own. Thanks to Christopher Columbus who discovered America and driving them almost to extinction, Arizonna has to be protected and left alone. We took bus, helicopter and boat rides around the area.

San Francisco: the last stop. The city of the poor and rich stay together on the streets. This place is basically a shopping spree for the tour... a lil bit like orchard road, juz that there are lotsa beggars and homeless people lying on the streets. Standard of living in America is quite backward compared to Singapore. People even have to get more than 20% tax of their income so that the government can issue out money to the homeless.

I didn't mention about shopping much though there are lotsa shopping time given between every city we go cuz im not interested in clothes and shoes. The only things i bought were souvenirs for my friends. Although im not into shopping, I can gurantee that Singapore shopping centres is no way inferior to America.

That's about all. Observe how i've been comparing how great Singapore is compared to America? Cuz we don't need to travel overseas to enjoy ourselves when we got everything right here.

Holiday @ USA

2007-11-21T16:58:00.000+08:00

Notice: Im flying to USA with my mom and bro for a holiday. Will touch down in Singapore on 2nd Dec.

Fault Finding Police: Self Righteousness

2007-11-21T01:38:00.000+08:00

I've always respected the monks' attitude of not putting their nose into anybody's business or to comment on others' wrongdoings. Even for addressing the issue of bogus monks, the Thai tradition Theravada monks do not go head on with them and even tells the lay devotees to respect the robes of the bogus monk. Whatever evil deeds he has done he shall answer it with his karma and we shouldn't interfere. That was the answer i got years ago when i raised a question regarding how a lay devotee should deal with bogus monks.

We are brought up in a society when we are indoctrinated in our education system to discriminate certain "bad" habits such as smoking or drug abuse which i find it very biased. The habit itself by nature isn't bad or good. It is how one intends to use it that makes it bad or good. We were taught in schools that smoking kills. Even the adverts show rotting images of people and organs due to the effects of smoking. Come on, there are 1001 ways to die. Every second, there will be non smokers dying. How come they never advertise people dying from playing sports or excercising. Being an ex-medic in the army, I've seen many casualties from heat exhaustion to unconscious patients to dead ones.

Why didn't our education system teach a neutral and objective viewpoint of smoking. Some people smoke to relief stress. It could even prevent them from committing suicide. If it could prevent these smokers from killing themselves, im sure they do not mind burning a hole in their pockets to buy those cigarettes. Great musicians take drugs to get high and compose great music. Perhaps there are better ways to relief stress but they weren't fortunate enough to get to know them. Moral and ethics have many grey areas and there will never be a perfect solution to everything.

"Bad" is a relative term depending on what an individual dislikes. A vegetarian can be going around criticizing meat eaters and saying meat eating is a bad habit or an environmentalist could go around shopping malls criticizing the use of plastic bags. Due to various backgrounds, we will perceive different things to be "bad".

Im not a smoker but im just trying to contradict this stereotypic view. Condemning "bad" habits of others make them inferior and boost ourselves and our egos. This is how some educated people without wisdom become elitists and start putting people down because they think they are right. Looking down on others based on what you think is right or wrong is being self-righteous.

In the end, im a fault finder of faults which is a fault itself. We are living in a free world now. Lets live and let others be.

Katina Day

2007-10-31T03:40:00.000+08:00

I was having bad rhinitis and cough for the past few days, nevertheless i made my way down to the 8th Singapore Inter-racial and Inter-religious marathon which was held last Saturday. It was held at Sri Guru Singh Sabha at Wilkie Road. The GOH was Dr Vivian Balakrishnan, Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports, and Second Minister forInformation, Communications and the Arts.

The event started around 6pm where we gathered to register and meet up friends from SIFY and some from the Buddhist community. The actual run was meant to be overnight till 10am the next day... good thing we signed up for the first part of it only where we get to follow the GOH until 9pm.

Taking a quick bite after the run, i rushed home to take a quick shower just to leave in time to Chinese Garden MRT before 12 midnight to prepare for a trip the next day where we had to leave 5am in the morning to Malaysia for Katina Day.

Its a small joint trip organised by Brother Xinhao for SPBS and SIMBS. Glad to see SIM finally had a Buddhist Society thanks to the founder Sister Meixuan. We stayed overnight at Xinhao's place and chatted overnight... man were we feeling sleepy the whole day.

The 13 of us, including Xinhao's dad, went to Santi Forest Monastery in Ulu Tiram, Johore for the Katina Robe offering ceremony. Along the way, we stopped by the Malaysian shophouses for breakfast and to shop for some items to dana(donate) to the monks.

When we reached near the entrance of the monastery, we were shocked to see so many cars and people crowding at the tents being set up outside the monastery. There were even Malaysian traffic police doing traffic control for the vehicles to park at the natural rubber plantation carparks. The once secluded monastery i went for retreat a month ago has turned into a bustling monastery just for the day.

We came just in time for the Pindapat(alms offering). Lay devotees queued all the way from outside the carpark till deep into the monastery with food and other requisites for the monks. We found a spot somewhere almost to the back of the queue. The queue was so long that it took the monks around half and hour to reach us. Moreover there were like 40 over forest monks taking part in the Pindapat. It was inspiring to see the whole procession taking place and more so when seeing some of the monks and lay devotees again from the retreat.

During the chanting and lunch break, we got to see some other Buddhist friends from NTUBS and had a little catch up with them. We helped sorted out the tonnes of donated rations and went for a great Dhamma talk by Ajahn Kheng. After hearing some words of wisdom, we had to part as the transport came. We took another quick bite at the Malaysian coffeeshop before we head back to Singapore.

Bullshit!

2007-10-19T16:29:00.000+08:00

Recently, I've been watching "Penn and Teller's Bullshit" series on youtube. Penn and Teller are performers who have been exposing magic tricks since as far as my primary school days. They appeared on TV innovations during those days to sell the secret of magic tricks or something.

Now the've turned to exposing the truth in their show called "Penn and Teller's Bullshit" which i admire. We need more people and shows like that to wake people up from the ocean of lies.

THE JOURNEY ALONG THIS PATH OF CULTIVATION

2007-10-16T01:21:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

I'll be giving a talk at Awareness Place Meditation Centre @ Bras Basah on 8th Nov, 7.30pm. Do attend if you are interested. Below is the E-flyer. I'll highlight in bold for my portion:-

November 2007

01 Thu
wisdom in everyday life
Sharing cum Q & A session with Dr Tan Ai-Girl

Dr. Tan Ai-Girl will share her experiences in how to cultivate wisdom in everyday life. She will relate some of her sharing to service and experiential learning. Real life cases and reflections on how wisdom was enhanced will be discussed. Come explore the joy of everyday life in a caring setting. Pick up tips to help you learn, experience positivism, serve and develop knowledge and wisdom.

08 Thu
THE JOURNEY ALONG THIS PATH OF CULTIVATION
Sharing cum Q & A session by Goh Chun Kiang

What has Goh Chun Kiang encountered on his journey along the path of learning and practicing Buddhism? In cultivating, he served and participated in various areas, gradually strengthening his leadership qualities. Find out what else he has been exposed to and what inspired him to keep on going despite challenges and obstacles. See if you can pick up some pointers for your own journey.

15 Thu
Buddhist Travels - Sharing on Borobudur
Sharing cum Q & A session with KMSPKS Guides

Borobudur, built more than a thousand years ago, is the largest Buddhist monument in the world. Located only two hours away from Singapore by flight, this ancient monument is an object of veneration and fascination by Buddhists since its rediscovery in the early nineteenth century by Sir Stamford Raffles. This October, a group of Singaporeans visited the monument. They will share their thoughts, feelings, inspirations and the many pictures taken on this wonderful site in Java, Indonesia.

22 Thu
UNDERSTANDING MENTAL ILLNESS & HOW WE CAN HELP SUFFERERS
Talk cum Q & A session with Dr Philip Tsui

There are three major classes of mental illness that can be classified into psychotic, mood and anxiety disorders. What are some of the common misconceptions and what are the treatment methods? What are the ways to detect the signs and symptoms? How do you help someone who has been diagnosed with mental illness? Let Dr Philip Tsui answer your questions and doubts on mental illnesses.

29 Thu
Awareness through Drama WORKSHOP
Interactive Workshop with Ruby Pan (Strictly by registration only)
A large part of a theatre actor's training involves developing awareness on stage, and learning how to be "in the moment." Come experience awareness through drama exercises, and find out how we might live with such heightened awareness in our daily lives. No drama experience necessary.

VENUE

All sessions are at Awareness Place [Well Being] Level 3, #03-39
Blk 231 Bain Street, Bras Basah Complex (Beside the National Library, nearest MRT station: City Hall)

TIME

7.30pm – 9.30pm

REGISTER

Please register to avoid disappointment- email wsdp@kmspks.org, tel 6849 5346 or sms 9679 0132

ABOUT THE SPEAKERS / FACILITATORS

Dr. Tan Ai-Girl is a faculty of a local university. She has been a passionate service and experiential learner while participating actively in volunteerism. Her previous *w*s*d*p sessions were widely popular and effective.

Goh Chun Kiang is actively involved in the Buddhist community. His past experiences included serving as the President in the Singapore Polytechnic Buddhist Society; being a Dharma teacher in a Sunday school for children; participating in inter-religious youth activities, writing and performing original Buddhist hymns, etc. Chun Kiang has attended numerous retreats over the years and is an avid reader of Buddhism.

KMSPKS Guides are a group of trained volunteer guides who perform free guiding services on Buddhism and the Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery, especially during Vesak Day. Coming from all walks of life, they are passionate about learning and sharing the Dharma with as many people as possible.

Dr Philip Tsui is a clinical psychologist and psychiatric social worker. His academic positions include adjunct faculty member of City College of San Francisco and Alliant International University; and visiting lecturer at Hong Kong University. He has 26 years of experience working with people with mental disorders and emotional problems. He has lectured extensively in the USA, Hong Kong, Singapore, Tokyo and Taiwan.
Ruby Pan is an English language and literature teacher who is trained in drama. She used to write, perform and direct until teaching took over her life. She has worked with The Necessary Stage and appeared on the Mr. Brown Show. She also volunteers her services regularly for the KMSPKS Youth Ministry.

The Teacher Will Show Up...

2007-10-07T20:46:00.000+08:00

When the student is ready? I guess that is partially true. Some effort need to be put in to go search for the "One". I have hunted several places and teachers and eventually I've found one that has the suitable compatibility factor and acceptance of my request.

Just came back from a 3-day meditation retreat at Alokarama, Malaysia. The retreat was very fruitful. Ven Mahinda gave very clear and inspiring talks which works very well when i practice them. I did had 3 sessions with him when i discussed about plans of getting ordained under him. Probably I have to fly to Australia during February to his meditation centre for a 3 month "monkhood audition", followed by another 3 months of Noviceship in Malaysia. Man... he sure travels around alot, but i guess it is definitely worth it.

A few reasons why i chose him is because he speaks good English, so i need not learn another language to communicate with him. His method of practice is precise and similar to what i have been practicing for the past seven years which i can relate to. He's examplary conduct of mindfulness and practice is awesome. Last but not least, he's full of love and compassion.

Santi Forest Retreat

2007-09-24T22:30:00.000+08:00

Just returned 2 days ago from an inspiring 12 day meditation retreat at Santi Forest Monastery in Johore, Ulu Tiram, Malaysia. I brought back a valuable lesson that would forever change my perspective of the path, the training and vipassana.

I travelled along with 2 other companions from SPBS with the initial intention of getting ordained as a monk for a short term to try out the lifestyle as a monk. It was my first time going through the malaysian and singapore customs via public transport. I had some problems getting through as my passport photo still depicts a picture of a primary school boy, thanks to ICA for not allowing me to change my photo the week before.

We took a cab which cost 60 ringgit to the place(daylight robbery) when another group we heard got there within 40 ringgit. Anyway we managed to get to the monastery safely. The surrounding area was a kampong style village as we observed cattle and crops along the way.

We settled down by evening time and got ouselves a small kuti each(a kind of isolated hut in the midst of a forest). The lifestyle there was kinda simple... but not as simple as other meditation retreats as we have to do many chores(eg, sweeping, mopping, washing etc...) and free labour(eg, plucking grass, moving bulky items, scraping cement and paint off a new building etc...). I didn't manage to get ordained as the monks there told me that this monastery is not a training ground because it does not have the necessary resources. They even told me that there was a protocol to follow prior to getting ordained as a monk... that is i have to serve the monastery that i want to follow for at least a few months as a 8 preceptor before the abbot may decide to take me in as a novice. So at the meantime, i could observe and learn from the monks there as a layperson.

Great... so i had to go treasure hunt some other monastery that has the system that i am more inclined towards... immediately i thought of Venerable Mahinda... He's another monk i could consider as he teaches the same meditation technique i learnt from Bro Richard. However, I've got to carry on training myself in this 12 day retreat first.

The shedule was pretty slack. There wasn't much disciplinary act enforced, so everyone was free to whatever they wanted even if they choose not to follow the program. The programme schedule is basically ongoing 24/7...
0600Hrs is the start of the morning puja
0630Hrs is area cleaning
0645Hrs breakfast
0730Hrs drive/walk of to almsround... depending on the scheduled devotees venue
1000Hrs return from almsround and preparation for lunch
1030Hrs layperson does offering and receives blessing from monks and goes to lunch, wash up dishes, area cleaning and rest
1400Hrs Ven Mettiko instructed us to meditate in main shrine to avoid having philosophical discussions with non-retreat devotees.
1600Hrs Area cleaning
1800Hrs Evening puja and overnight meditation(optional)... there are 3 monks who basically meditate in the main shrine throughout the night all the time till the next morning and carry on with the morning puja. Laypeople like us are free to join in that is why they do not care about lights out or morning call.

What i learnt:-

Sweeping and mopping with formation... a forest monastery style technique. The brooms are customed made to do a certain sweeping action too.

Quote from Bikkhu Lee: Area cleaning is very important. It reflects on your mind state... If you can't even clean the dirt you can see externally, what makes you think you can clean up the defilements you have internally?

I managed to do some samatha and vipassana practices and asked Ajahn Mettiko on my limitations to do Jhanas for a short period of time.

Quote from Ajahn Mettiko: Well it is normal. Our minds are habituated to run wrongly for so long. So when you try to do something right such as getting the Jhana factors, the mind will try to go back to its old form with its defilements again. That is where you need to muscle in some wisdom to strengthen the mind by practicing the 4 foundations of mindfulness such as reflecting on the 32 parts of the body. Then you enter Jhanas again... this time you will see it can maintain longer because the mind has wisdom to see things as it really is. Some meditators can meditate day and night non stop because they have trained enough... just like Tai Chi. It is a system which the body need to build up the energy for years before you can be a Tai Chi master.

The conversation really changed my perspective on vipassana meditation. Initially i thought it was just another technique to just carry out and thats it... In reality it is an attitude... the interest to investigate mind and body as it really is and to do it every moment all the time. My mindfulness really got powered up during the retreat and it was really satisfying to see such achievement.

Alms round is a tough job. Monks do deserve the food they get after going through all the pain walking bare footed. The roads in Malaysia are sure tough... As a 8 preceptor and helper, we've been through almost all the almsround schedule and learned some protocol. Whenever i help carry their almsbowl, i can feel the energy emitting from their bowl... built from the years of mental energy built up from staring at the bowl while going almsround and having their meal. That was really something amazing.

i guess these were the few main points i learnt. We managed to find out a cheaper alternative way back to Singapore... by taking the Malaysian public bus... man it was way cheaper... 2.30 ringget per person. Back home in Singapore, back to samsara...

ORD Loh!

2007-09-08T22:32:00.000+08:00

Finally walked out of the camp gates... The RP was still asking me:"Show me your off pass" before opening the gates. I flashed to him my pink IC and told him:" ORD Lo!" He gave a shocked expression as he opened the gates and congratulated me while i walked out. I wasn't jumping with joy... but felt a little reluctant and sad. The memories of my camp life replayed through my mind of all the fun and laughter, ups and downs in army. Another transition to another phase of life. I've gone through so many transitions yet i feel so attached and couldn't let go totally of this one... the one that i had longed to let go for so long. I was posted into this camp alone... and ORDed alone... No one else whom i know from my unit ORDies the same day with me.

When i die, i'll die alone... just as i came to this world alone. Am i ready for death? no... i still cling on to my life experiences. The desire for life is still there. There's no purpose in life... it's just my desire to think that there is one. If there was a purpose... wouldn't it be universal and same for all mankind? Looking at the statistics of the number of stillborn babies... child mortality rates... is there really a need for societies' propaganda of a purpose in life? Another lie just to cheat us to slog for $$$? Or some parents' desire of what they want their child to be?

All i wanted was to be free... When will i ever ORD-ain in life?

Interfaith Dialogue 2: Evangelism

2007-08-13T11:18:00.000+08:00

I believe every religion would want to have more people believeing their religion as they feel it is the best and they would want to provide the best to their believers. Some of these followers could be hyped up and become overzealous or even fanatical over their beliefs. They would go all out to convert people, even if they are from other faiths.

Some Buddhists, including myself, used to think that evangelical Christians are going too far. But to think of it... Buddhists go even further. We've even got long term plans... future rebirths. Becoming a Bodhisattva to return this world countless times to save countless beings for Mahayanists or reach a Stream Enterer this life so that i could return 7 more lifetimes before becoming an Arahant for Theravadins... haha. more jialat.

Interfaith Dialogue 1: Faith in God

2007-08-13T11:01:00.000+08:00

I was informed last week to be invited for an inter-faith dialogue with Muslim students on various Buddhist practices this coming Saturday... so I had to think of something interesting that would connect the faiths.

The first thing that came to my mind was that Buddhism is not a Theistic religion... which is a huge factor that would differentiate most religions here in Singapore to the untrained eye. What i found out was that believing in God and being very faithful is somewhat very similar to vipassana meditation practice in Buddhism.

Example:
The faithful would always thank God for his achievements be it school or work or whatever aspect in life. This would reduce his ego by alot instead of thinking:"I got a gold medal" or "The winner is me" or "the money is mine". If every aspect of one's life is dedicated to God, this person would be very mindful as well thinking:"I breathe in for God, I breathe out for God, I stand up for God, sit down for God, walk for God etc... etc..."

In Vipassana meditation, it is another technique to remove ego but not through faith in God. It is just pure awareness of things happening around. Seeing the mind and body processes as it really is. Seeing how feelings rise and fall and so on. By doing so, one understands that there is no "I" for rising and falling happens quickly without much of the meditator's control.

Waiting to ORDain

2007-07-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I've finally gone through ATEC stage 2 which was my last outfield. Quite memorable... Not as tough as the BPT as i didn't do as much bashing as before. However, unexpectedly, i sustained a bad ankle sprain due to a fall which i tried to jump down from a slope towards the end of my mission with FBO and landed awkwardly due to the uneven terrain. Moreover i got food poisoning the day before i went outfield and had diarrhoea the 2nd day of outfield. Thanks to the MO, i managed to consume some medicine from the first day and recovered towards the end of the 2nd day.

Despite all these obstacles, i managed to pull through the whole exercise without falling out. The bonus part... i got another 5 days off for this exercise. The interesting part was on the 3rd night after we set up a light mode BCS somewhere in the forest... I saw a deva for a brief moment like around 10 seconds... a small sphere of light which glows and twinkles and moves slowly in a straight line from one tree to the next and disappears. That sight really gave me faith and inspiration towards practicing the Dhamma for the benefit of all sentient beings. A rare sight to behold.

Now I've accumilated close to 30 days of off. Its time to start clearing them and get a break which i right deserve after toiling and working so hard... Already trained an understudy to take over my documentation work in medical centre. Will hand over my responsibilities to him in due time... next week.

7 more weeks to ORD. Woo!!!

Why Become a Monk?

2007-06-29T12:46:00.000+08:00

In my unit, some of my friends would keep asking me why i wouldn't to get married and lead a normal life, despite giving them the standard answer such as "seek the truth" or "understand the path to end mental suffering"... So i had to resort using some references i studied before, such as the Maslow's hierachy of needs http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

I've gone past the boundaries of
Physiological(in Singapore, almost everyone can afford 3 meals a day and has shelter),
Safety(Singapore is a safe country),
Love/Belonging(I've got good companions and family),
Esteem(I've been into lots of leadership roles such as NPCC instructor in Secondary school, Buddhist Society President in Poly and now an Admin Spec in army)

Self Actualisation(That's what i look forward to develop now)

Path to Monkhood Parody 2

2007-06-29T12:04:00.000+08:00

Insurance salesman on the street:"Sir would you like to invest in our policy.... blah blah blah.."
My reply:"Im so sorry, im going to become a monk."
Salesman:"Oh ok..."

Honesty is the best policy... Save both parties time. If thay are keen to know why i want to become a monk, then it becomes my turn to "sell" them some Dhamma policy...

Path to Monkhood Parody

2007-06-29T11:44:00.000+08:00

Upon request from Ahhoi to play the guitar so as to assist NTUBS pass down the Buddhist hymns heritage, I had to go down to her house with some other NTUBS members to practice playing several songs which will be recorded into a CD(a few of the songs were written by me). We had to practice until the singers and instument players were synchronised and up to standard for studio recording before we head down to PKS music studio.

Ahhoi likes to crack jokes during our practice saying:"CK, this song is written by you. When you become a monk, we will acknowledge this song writer as Venerable so-and-so after the CD is produced...LOL"

And i was like -_-...

*There's precepts for Buddhist monks to abstain from entertainment such as dancing and singing except for lay people taking the 5 precepts.

Wonderful Wesak

2007-06-01T10:43:00.000+08:00

This year's Wesak Day is quite memorable. I manage to lessen my commitments in the Buddhist circle(thanks to national service) and began to appreciate the festival as a whole, instead of being trapped and busy with planning or volunteering the whole day in one particular area. I managed to walk freely around the exhibits and enjoy myself while giving some Dana here and there to booths. This experience certainly gave me an insight about how to view life at a bigger picture and not just focusing on one spot.

I only volunteered as a Wesak Trail tour ambassador at Orchard road last Sunday, where i bring my audience(mainly old folks) through the cultural tour to educate them on Wesak. As usual, there were performances on stage which brought me the reminiscence of the past when i was heavily involved in Buddhist music. Well, since im planning to become a monk, I've gotta let go of this activity. On Vesak day itself, I had my last gig(hopefully) at PKS requested by my group singer. I also managed to seek audience with Ven Chuan Guan and asked him some questions regarding ordination.

Palelai: Potential Package

2007-05-02T19:04:00.000+08:00

Today i attended a Dhamma Talk in SPBS. The speaker was Ajahn Kheng, a Singaporean monk from the Thai forest tradition. I asked him about ordination and he gave me a reassuring answer:

Training in Ulu Tiram forest in Malaysia, then sending to Thailand for further training.

Well, this solves all the Visa problem since it is taken care of and i get to get back to Singapore. No headaches, no worries :) Great package... will consider this offer =x

Self Fragment Element

2007-02-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all! May all beings be well and happy always!

Just like all the previous Chinese New Years, been busy doing house visits to all relatives and collecting red packets... yea. Some thoughts about Chinese New year celebrations in Singapore... like my dad mentioned, the celebrations here are quiet and has lost it's relevance over time. For the people in this society are not very close with their own relatives as they meet once a year. Some of the people my dad knows of do not practice Chinese customs such as giving of red packets... Unless our schools do something to teach the values to our younger generation of the meaning of each practice with its relevance, Chinese New Year will soon become just another public holiday. Even I myself am not familiar with the Chinese practices for Chinese New Year...

Speaking of I and myself... I've been reflecting upon the subject of gratitude whenever i receive food or red packets recently and the stream of thoughts just led me to thinking about what constitute me eventually. What am I today is due to the food I've eaten prepared by my mom earlier, by the courtesy of the car driver when i cross the road, by the influence of good company of friends, by the kindness of my parents, by the knowledge of my teachers etc... etc... etc...

Had not been all of these stuff combined, would there by me at the first place? Had one of these elements not conditioned me, would I still be I? Each individual element isn't me for it is definitely too little to constitute me. I experience many elements all the time even right now when I am using this computer and straining my eyes. I am changing all the time. There are many fragments that make up me. Yet all these fragments are not me at all.

Guess i am one step closer in solving this mystery of the I. Good start for a new year :)

SIFY Leader

2007-01-27T21:59:00.000+08:00

Today is the day when i graduated from the Singapore Inter-Faith Youth (SIFY) program at SMU and upgraded form a SIFY participant to a SIFY leader woo... After 3 months of intense work and sweat... attending camps, workshops, organising an interfaith workshop, visiting various places of worship for study visits, having exchange sessions and self-study, we finally graduated.

To me, SIFY is just a stepping stone for us... a platform to continue our Inter-faith engagement, through self-initiated activities such as the suggested inter-scriptural studies by one of the SIFY leaders.

As for what i view interfaith:-

I see it as the Objective and the Process...

Some people may think that getting to heaven by believing in this God or that God is the Objective and doing charity, being good, compassionate and cultivating of such qualities are the Process...

I think otherwise, Achieving these good qualities should be the Goal and whatever method of reaching such spiritual attainments are just a Process.

Different religions arise at different times, locations and cultures to suit the needs of the variety of people there. As long as it works for them then good.

All religions teach avoid Evil, do Good and Purify the mind. All religions can lead to enlightenment, heaven or whatever you call it. As long as there is right guidance by a realised teacher. The continuous and habitual upholding of good qualities in your mind will inspire you to be that one day. Any psychologist would agree with that.

There is no religion that can be perfect in every way. That is why going through these inter-faith programs can benefit us by picking up all the good points in every faith.

Wanna Be Young Again?

2007-01-01T22:39:00.000+08:00

I was performing at the Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery for the spiritual countdown when i met some female performers at their 20s commenting how old they were comparing to the bunch of teens amongst them. I remarked: "Wanna be young again? wait for your next life."

What's the big deal about age difference... to me, everyone is infinitely old cuz we're going round in samsara for ages already. We're failures who simply can't pass out from the school of hard knocks. Perhaps it is the time to make a new year aspiration to graduate from samsara.

Parental Consent

2006-12-24T00:18:00.000+08:00

Yea... I finally got my mom's consent for me to ordain and become a monk. After years of waiting, my efforts and determination paid off. The next step is to look for temples and monastries... starting with the local ones. I'd love to go overseas to get ordained but there are definitely pros and cons as well. Especially with the administrative aspect such as having the temple to write a letter to the army to show that i've become a monk and need not go back to do the reservist training etc...

The interesting thing with my mom was a sudden turn of her decision. All the while she was against of me getting ordained ever since i was in primary school. But just recently, she went to a fortune teller with her friend to seek advise on this situation and guess what?... the fortune teller was on my side and told her that i was destined to be a monk and she should not try to stop me. Woo... i was overjoyed when she told this to me and accepted my decision to become a monk. Guess i should give some credit to all her Buddhist customers who gave their input and as well as the fortune teller. Sadhu x 3

Attend C

2006-12-03T19:16:00.000+08:00

Yea, this is my first time i got 3 days Attend C status from the medical officer on Wednesday. I've been hit by rhinorrhea for a week already... been blowing my nose too much until it bled and injured my saliva and tear glands. It was bleeding since morning 6am when i woke up till the afternoon 2pm when i was teaching the new medics halfway. I reported sick and viola... granted sick leave for the rest of the week(long weekend) plus some medication.

Life couldn't get busier when im getting involved in the planning of Buddhist Library Bodhiwalk for next year and preparing powerpoint presentation on Buddhism for the Singapore Inter-Faith Youth Forum camp connect next week. for more info see: http://www.sify.sg/

The camp is starts on a Friday 8th Dec... which clashes with my battallion's anniversay. But i was lucky enough to get an off from my senior medic. I really hope my efforts in getting that off will pay off.

December schedule will be hectic as my Saturdays will be involved in study visits/exchange programs by the SIFY and Sundays busy practising for Spiritual Countdown New Year's Eve performance.

Instant Karma

2006-11-03T22:37:00.000+08:00

Last Friday I took leave to perform for a charity event at Tan Tock Seng's Communicable Disease Centre. It was their Patient Care Centre's Anniversary and they invited all their donors, volunteers and even an American Ambassador as guests for these event. Ahhoi and I hadn't been performing for a long time already. To make things more challenging for us, we are the only performing group for the whole event filled with speeches, some segments of lucky draws and more speeches.

We were kinda nervous even though it was just a mini multi purpose hall full of audience. To make things worse, the sound system went wrong even though we already tested beforehand with the same settings (my guitar amp sounded awry as it sounded less clear and softer). So we had to adjust halfway through. Worst of all, i played and sang some wrong notes =x

We thought that our weeks of preparation has gone to waste but hey, that's life always full of uncertainties. It has happened several times before in our previous performances but i guess im still not wise enough to tame my mind immediately from all these defilements. Ironically, both of us managed to walk away with some cool lucky draw prizes. That was also quite unexpected for us volunteer performers. Ahhoi got the 1st prize(some facial cream and wash products) while i got the 4th prize(a tie). Haha... we perceived it as instant good karma afterwards as if it was a reward. In any case we're still practicing the Dhamma and to achieve selflessness.

The Light Side of Enlightenment

2006-10-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging for some time already due to my busy schedule... gotta rehearse for some performance at the end of this month. Anyway, heres an interesting article my friend emailed to me:http://santifm1.0.googlepages.com/thelightside

The Light Side of Enlightenment

How many meditation teachers does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty. One to actually do the work, and forty-nine to offer reflections on it.

How many joss-stick Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
Why bother? Kwan Yin will do it for us.

How many monks does it take to change a light bulb?
They can’t. There’s no light bulbs in the Vinaya.

How many vipassana meditators does it take to change a light bulb?
No need. Just mindfully note: ‘darkness, darkness, darkness’.

How many tantric adepts does it take to change a light bulb?
Two; but they have to do it in full lotus posture.

How many Nagarjunas does it take to change a light bulb?
Since there’s no Nagarjuna and no light bulb, how can there be any change?

How many Buddhist scholars does it take to change a light bulb?
An internationally respected committee of academics, after deliberating all night, conclusively failed to agree on the meaning of the word ‘light bulb’. Meanwhile, the sun came up.

How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?
The peach blossoms fall softly on the warty old frog.

How many Ajahn Brahms does it take to change a light bulb?
The light bulb just has to get into jhana, then it’ll glow by itself.

How many Abhidhamma scholars does it take to change a light bulb?
There are 20W light bulbs, 40W light bulbs, 80W light bulbs, 100W… 200W…
There are 6V light bulbs, 12V light bulbs, 120V light bulbs, 240V light bulbs…
There are incandescent bulbs, fluorescent bulbs…
There are clear light bulbs, pearled light bulbs, colored light bulbs…
There are screw-in light bulbs, bayonet light bulbs…
There are 20W light bulbs that are 6V, there are 20W light bulbs that are 12V… 120V… 240V…
There are 40W light bulbs that are 6V… 240V…
80W… 100W… 200W…
There are 20W light bulbs that are 6V incandescent…
There are 200W light bulbs that are 240V, florescent, colored, and bayonet.

How many arahants does it take to change a light bulb?
One.

Complacent Displacement

2006-09-24T17:29:00.000+08:00

I've been really slacking in the past month or so mostly staying at home after coming back from camp. The only thing i could think of is just to stay at home to rest after all the national day rehearsals... and this habit has been carried over for several weeks. My spiritual progress is really suffering from a landslide.

Ever since my maid has finished her contract and returned home to Indonesia last week, i could really feel that i have been over complacent with my time and not doing what was necessary. Now i have to do the house chores and step out of the comfort zone. Well, impermanence is good, this kind of unexpected events can make one more mindful. Now i know why monks need to go out for alms round and not stay in temples all the time...

Now im a one year soldier... i've got one more year left to complete my national service.

7th Month Hungry Ghost Festival

2006-08-19T13:31:00.000+08:00

Burning hell notes are common practices seen here for this period... Wanted to type my opinion on it... but since theres a good post about it, I'll just use it here.

For www.TheDailyEnlight enment.com

Debunking the Top 10 Seventh Month Myths (with the Buddhist Perspective)

Myth #1 : The gates of hell are opened during every seventh lunar month.

Truth : Beings leave hell only when their strong negative karma, which rendered them to be reborn in hell, is exhausted, when karma for rebirth surfaces. In this sense, there are beings leaving hell not just in the seventh month, but as and when karmically appropriate.

Myth #2 : During the seventh month, hungry ghosts from hell roam the world freely as wandering spirits.

Truth : Hungry ghosts, while being unfortunate beings too, are distinct from hell-beings, who generally have more intense suffering. While hell-beings do not have holidays in our world, we already co-exist with hungry ghosts and wandering spirits, though most are unseen by humans. Hungry ghosts are reborn beings with strong craving, while wandering spirits are the deceased who have yet to take proper rebirths due to strong attachment. Most ghostly encounters are with them, not hungry ghosts or hell-beings.

Myth #3 : All go to hell after death in the afterlife.

Truth : Many Chinese believe that everyone will be reborn in hell in the afterlife, which is seen as a mirror image of our present world. However, only those who have created very negative karma are reborn in hell. There are five other possible realms of existence - realm of hungry ghosts, animals, humans, demi-gods and gods. Hell is also not an "interchange terminal" between every two consecutive lives.

Myth #4 : Life in hell requires all the requisites of our world, so we must burn these items.

Truth : Since hell is a realm of suffering, "requisites" such as money, houses, cars and handphones would not be relevant. There is no basis that paper items burnt to ashes will materialise into solid items. Also, money is useless without trade, houses useless without land, and cars are useless without engines and fuel, just as handphones are useless without telecommunication companies. If life in hell requires everything in our world via burning, we would need to burn the whole world literally, as everything is interdependent for any one thing to function. But to burn absolutely everything is of course highly illogical. Burning expensive paper items not only wastes paper, money time and effort, it also pollutes the environment and can be damaging for health. Ironically, the excess fire, ashes and smoke might displease unseen beings, just as they displease humans who are irritated.

Myth #5 : If we do not even burn paper items out of goodwill, we are being uncompassionate.

Truth : Instead, we can do good deeds in the name of the deceased, who we believe might have been reborn in an unfortunate realm (or who might still be a wandering spirit), and dedicate merits to them. We can also offer prayers by chanting, in the hope that they may learn the Buddha's teachings from them, thus alleviating their suffering by practising them. Openly sharing and listening to the Buddha's teachings is also meritorious. Food offerings can also be made for hungry ghosts and wandering spirits too. Donating food and necessities to worthy members of the Sangha and charities instead of burning items creates more merits. Actually, this can be done any time, but it is a custom to especially do so on the fifteenth day of the seventh lunar month in Buddhism - to celebrate Ullambana. Other than benefiting deceased relatives, friends and even past karmic "enemies" can also have their suffering alleviated. We can also celebrate Ullambana by doing good to honour our present parents who are alive.

Myth #6 : Why is there more supernatural phenomena during the seventh month? What if I have dreams of a relative asking for paper items?

Truth : There might be more supernatural activity when we create elaborate and rowdy celebrations to gather and honour unseen beings, especially while we also become tense and expect supernatural incidents to occur. Humans disturb unseen beings accidentally, more so than them disturbing us intentionally. In this way, experiencing the supernatural can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Some of the deceased are attached to the idea that they need paper items burnt for them, which is why they might appear in dreams asking for them. Likewise, surviving relatives might be attached to the same idea, which is why they dream similarly. Explanation to the deceased might be good, to let him or her realise that burning is not needed. If this does not work, it is perhaps better to burn some items - to let him or her realise the futility of the practice.

Myth #7 : Life in hell is eternal suffering.

Truth : Since there is limited evil that one can do in a lifetime, one will not experience unlimited karmic retribution forever. However, due to great suffering, life in hell is often experienced as a very long duration.

Myth #8 : All unseen beings are either mischievous or evil. We need to appease them and ask for protection.

Truth : Most hungry ghosts and wandering spirits (both of whom are so due to great attachment) exist in states too unfortunate to make a point to play tricks on us, or to wish to sabotage us in any way. Just as most humans do not go all the way out to harm each other, most of them do not harm us. Just as only a minority of humans are downright evil, so are unseen beings. Buddhists take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha, not in unenlightened beings. There is no need to appease any unseen being, but we can practise compassion when we encounter them.

Myth #9 : It is bad luck to have celebrations during the seventh month.

Truth : If more of us practise Ullambana in the right way, surely, the seventh month will be a time of great joy, merits and auspiciousness. In fact, Ullambana itself is a spiritual celebration.

Myth #10 : It is definitely unfortunate to encounter an unseen being.

Truth : Encountering an unseen being is due to your karmic affinity with each other. We should do what we can to ensure there is no enmity, by being sincerely compassionate, by understanding and calmly wishing him or her well. If it is a negative karmic affinity, it should be transformed to one of goodwill by urging him or her to let go of attachment to take a good rebirth, especially in Amitabha Buddha's Pure Land, where enlightenment is guaranteed. You can do this by having good intentions, and chanting simple chants like "Namo Amituofo" (Homage to Amitabha Buddha), while wishing the being to do the same single-mindedly. Amitabha Buddha vowed that any being who is continuously mindful of him will be received by him for birth in His Pureland. When unsure, it is best to consult an experienced monk or nun for help.

- Shen Shi'an

Happy National Day!

2006-08-10T13:12:00.000+08:00

Ok... Happy National Day Singapore! Ok its one day late cuz i was at the national stadium yesterday doing medical cover. Haha... the irony is that we are at the national stadium live but yet we were in our medical post watching National Day Parade Live on Channel 5. To us, the show was like a CCTV to look out for any casualties... but seems like the cameramen knows how to avoid shooting the footage of anyone fainting. (though they din manage to avoid shooting a few mstakes being made in the parade). Good thing is that my unit is giving us 2 days off for this event(today and tomorrow) and we can enjoy a long weekend.

National Day is a day where Singaporeans celebrate the independance of our country. Being grateful for the peace and prosperity of the nation contributed by our forefathers, I felt very indebted and obliged to go through National Service though i could have ordained earlier and become a monk overseas. Moreover, there is a rule i found out regarding ordination... one must be free from any national obligation or duties...

Ok... so i'll just contribute to the nation's defence for 2 years and proceed about my noble task of saving the world and being a hero... that is to seek enlightenment so that i could have the means to liberate other sentient beings from all suffering.

Long Break?

2006-07-30T21:07:00.001+08:00

It was wednesday, the 2nd and last day for the chemical defence training in Nee Soon Camp for national day parade medics. We had to perform a fireman lift, which is to lift a person up and place his naval on our shoulder when we walk. I had my "casualty" balanced already and taken several steps when he, out of mischief, tried to jerk and twist sharply...

I heard a crack sound towards the left side of my lower spine and an acute pain followed. I had to quickly place my casualty down. I realised that from then on i could not sit or stand properly, nonetheless walk properly as it was very painful. Since the course was about to end, i might as well call my mom who knows how to treat me since she is a body therapist. I also didn't want to see the MO there cuz the medical centre is quite far upslope which i had great difficulty walking...

So my mom brought me to our family doctor and i was given medication plus 3 days of MC for me to rest and recuperate...
Instead of staying home, I got to stay in my mom's house which i seldom go over... Couldn't do anything anyway... I was lying in bed most of the time from wednesday to friday. I was only on saturday that i could start to walk properly, but yet slightly painfully. Everytime before a meal, my mom would massage my back with her aroma therapy.. i have no idea what's that as well... but it was great.

Today i managed to function as per normal again... That's the human body... fragile, impermanent, pain and not me... Have to book in to camp... loggin off

Buddhist Outreach

2006-07-24T09:51:00.000+08:00

Attended a focal group discussion yesterday at PKS. Discussed about the post Vesak @ Orchard. Many of those attended felt that the outreach isn't right as the event focused too much on the fun element and forgot about the real Dhamma propagation. Yea, people do get to read about Buddhism, but they do not get the Dhamma, the teachings of the Buddha... Except for some practical projects like folding a million lotuses which brings inter racial and religious harmony.

Below are some of my thoughts based on the points brought up by participants... haha, i didn't get to voice them as my mind can only do one thing at a time. I can only absord info when people are speaking and reflect on it after the event... just like vipassana meditation...

The next portion of the meeting was more interesting. We discussed about Buddhist outreach which is quite a hot topic for Buddhist organisations and Buddhist leaders. Some people feel that in order for the outreach to be good, you need to attract many people and try to follow up with them by bringing them thier interest(eg. drama, sports, games etc...) ... haha i've tried that with my council and also for TIBS "what's wrong with the world" with Peifen last time... but it didn't work. Many of them like to compare this strategy with many other organisations who used it and became successful (eg. Christian groups, Tian Dao, Soka, some Buddhist youth groups etc...)

The point is, this strategy works well if the objective is to get many people to label themselves to be part of that organisation. But in Buddhism, it doesnt work that way. We do not aim to get as many Buddhists as possible We are only interested in reducing suffering and liberating all sentient beings. Like mentioned in the first paragraph, spreading Buddhism may not be spreading Dhamma. Giving the main menu is different from giving the main course. You may get the quantity, but not the quality.

I believe in the reverse psychology anology by Ajahn Brahm... To get a friend interested in a Dhamma book, keep reading the Dhamma book in front of him and tell him not to touch your book when you are away. He'll most probably pick it up to read out of curiosity. If you push your book to your friend right at the beginning, the most he'll read it with his eyes and not with his heart. The last thing you want a person whom you approach is to hate your religion for life.

Same goes to Buddhist outreach, I do not believe in shoving the religion right at others straightaway... we might as well become fanatic evengelists... but instead, we cultivate ourselves and lead by example. People will see with their own eyes and will want to turn to a religion that can successfully pass down spiritual values to their followers.

About "network marketing" strategy for the Buddhist leader appointment... haha.. lots of problems also... the leader might have lots of sub units and leaders under him... but right at the bottom of the chain, will the follower respect the leader right at the top? Probably no... just like in the army... i don't even know who the chief of army is... i only respect my medical platoon sergeant because he is with us all the time and working TOGETHER with us. Leaders are built based on FELLOWSHIP and the bonding.

Another problem with that is the poor follow up of spiritual cultivation and the reputation that tails behind. Example,If you see Buddhist monk from a temple that goes clubbing, pubbing, drinking and having too much fun, would you donate to his temple and give him alms? Most probably not... because he is not doing his job... Likewise, if you see Buddhist youths organising a lot of events to the beaches to have fun and more activities to have fun for their members.... would you still give donation to their temple or even support their group? It's as good as giving away money to those ah beng and ah seng kids on the street.

As for outreaching with regards to interest... the Buddhist Societies have been doing so many CCA fairs and we know the consequence of pulling in the wrong crowd if we market the wrong thing. We may tell people to join us for many other reasons based on interest...( eg basketball) besides the main course. Ok... then people will start joining in because of the interest in basketball and not Buddhism. Well.. there are other interest clubs in school like basketball as well... so why waste our resources and not meeting our objective? We should start off with the main course, the desserts can come later. People will socialise by themselves and find out who is interested in what and start to form groups by their own. Side activities will depend on the participant to organise themselves and not bring up to organisational level.

Happy Birthday

2006-07-14T13:09:00.000+08:00

Yea, managed to get out of my camp to take a break thanks to the medical appointment yesterday at MMI and a birthday off today. Received many well wishes from friends... thanks alot. Took my time to write birthday testimonials to my friends in friendster as well... lol...share the joy in wishing others well and happy!

Birthdays are simply reminders of ageing, and being closer to death... I dont really celebrate them beccause im enjoying my life most of the time. Treasure every second and I do not see the point in having a birthday celebration.

As for my plans today... im going to BS to attend a meditation session with my juniors and to attend their council meeting to settle some admin stuff with other alumnis regarding handing over. No activity is more meaningful and enjoyable than Dhamma...

When There's Something Strange In The Neighbourhood.... Who'd You Gonna Call?

2006-06-23T22:48:00.000+08:00

Whew.. been a busy weekend... just shifted into an old flat as our new home on a Saturday... Living in the highest floor(4th) without any lifts... body is definitely aching as we carried the heavy furnitures up the stairs( the fridge, washing machine, tables, cabinets, televesion, computer, etc...) Observed some needles, blood and syringes on the floor along the stairs... guess this is a comon hangout place for drug addicts since we are the only family that shifted in. the rest of the levels are unoccupied...

I carried on with the Bodhi Walk performance on Sunday which seem exhausting because of the previous busy day. I finally got to see groups of drug addicts syringing each other at the stairs before i book out. Those sick bunch of young people. I didn't really get close to them because i was in the house, but my mom and dad sort of scared them away by making a police report.... as of now i have no idea how many police reports my dad has made cuz he claims that the cops need more than half an hour to arrive on scene. By then the drug addicts have scram out of the area already. The police managed to arrest a few of them though.

My mom seemed specially worried till the extent of asking me to move over to her house to stay in CCK. however im pretty fine with wherever i go, so just continue staying in the new place. Moreover one of my platoon medic is living nearby one block away, so we can go to camp together. He was quite surprised when i told him about the drug addicts as he has never seen them before.

Fear can be a good teacher. That's how forest monks practice diligently when there are snakes, tigers and other wild animals lurking around. When life is uncertain and you know that danger is gonna take your life away, you will treasure every moment more. That's how many of the cancer patients really spend their life doing important things as they know that time is not on their side. Its a good place for the faint hearted to go to dangerous areas as it will train up their hearts to be brave.

For now, I'll have to burn my saturdays to do national day parade medical covers for their rehearsals all the way till national day itself. At the meantime, I'll try to pack up my stuff when im free... my room is pretty messy...

No Fame, No Name, No Gain

2006-06-12T00:31:00.000+08:00

These are wise words i heard from Mangala during NYPBS AGM. Whenever we help out, we do things without any strings attached... practice the perfection of giving. There was one point in time when i was so enthusiastic about my Buddhist rock band that we wanted to cut an album and sort of become famous... but after reflecting on these verse and my original intention of playing Buddhist hymns the first place... i don't feel like doing such things anymore.

Back to the 4 noble truths. Cause of suffering is craving... so if we do not expect anyting in return, there will be no suffering. Well just play music and have fun!

Every Move You Make

2006-06-01T19:45:00.000+08:00

Im shifting house again, this time to Marsiling. Past few weeks been busy helping my dad to pack up the furniture and loose items and painting the new house. The good thing about living a "nomadic" life is that you adapt to different environment faster and don't have to keep so many belongings. Everytime i shift its like spring cleaning for my belongings... there are so many things which i do not need but im still keeping for dust to collect... attachment. This reminds me of monks who possess only their bowl, grass mat and robes which could be easily packed within 30 seconds.

The shifting is also similar to rebirth. When the mind shifts from body to body... Will the mind be able to let go of the defilements? will bringing all these stuff be troublesome? Along the lifetime, sometimes we collect good stuffs like gifts, rewards or presents due to certain good deeds or efforts. So will the shifting process brings you happy memories or more pain when you browse through your collection. Will you be able to let go of all the belongings and make yourself freeer?

Survey on Divorce

2006-05-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

Wesley had a friend who's doing a survey on how divorce affected children. He sent me this questionaire online thru MSN chat cuz i so happen to be eligible to fill them up. This is what i wrote and put it up in hope to bring across the message of how events, no matter how negative it may seem, in life when taken positively can turn out positive(Mind is the forerunner). There are many people out there who face alot worse than me of course, wish them all the best in overcoming all those obstacles in life and lead a meaningful life... here goes the questionaire:-

Questionnaire

Name: Goh Chun Kiang
Age: 20
Gender: M
Staying with: Father
Currently: NS

1) Do you have intentions of getting married in the future?: No

2) Do you feel different from your friends who come from complete families?: Yes

3) How did you feel/act when your parents broke the news of getting a divorce?
Understand reality better

4a) Was there a drastic change in your life?: Yes

b) If yes, what changed? State the change.
Your personality: wiser and more comapssionate
Financial Allowance: lesser allowance due to one parent support
Mindset towards life: Able to understand that everything in life is transient and able to let go easily
Mindset towards Marriage: Only goes well if 2 parties have the same inclinations and love each other
Goals in life: To lead a holy life in accordance with the Teachings of Buddhism
Circle of friends: Get along with people of certain moral standard and character
Others (please specify): Experience lots of contentment and happiness without having any will to seek for a partner

5) Choose the top 3 most important factor you would look for in your future partner. (1 being the most important factor)
___ Faithfulness
___ Committed
__2_ Loving
__3_ Respectful
__1_ Understanding
___ Good appearance
___ Mutual trust
___ Financial Status

6) If you were to choose between staying with your Father or your Mother, who would you choose? Why?
Doesn’t matter to me as both would have their pros and cons

7) Who helped you cope throughout the process of your parents’ divorce?
Peers
Relatives
Siblings
Teachers
Counselors
Yourself
Others (please specify)Everyone plays a part in one way or another

8) What is your attitude towards your parents now after they have divorced?
Became more independent and less reliant on them. More freedom as well since the family has been split and there were lesser restrictions for my personal life.

9) Given a scenario. If you were to have a major quarrel with your partner, what would you do?
Talk it out and try to solve the problem.

10) Describe your life now after your parents divorced.
More spiritual, thanks to this incident

Thank you for your time! J

Happy Vesak Day!

2006-05-14T00:30:00.000+08:00

Ah... its kinda late to post this thanks to my regimental duty in the medical centre. I was assigned to be the duty medic from Thrusday to Saturday morning, so i left out Vesak day and the Eve. Anyway, i get to have 1 day off for doing duty on a holiday.

So how i "celebrated" Vesak? sending 2 casualties to hospital. One had some eye problem and had to be sent ot NUH A&E while the other had a fall and injured his neck and was sent to Tengah Air Base Medical Centre. So staying in the medical centre wasn't that bad afterall, can do some meritorious deeds. Other than that, i was basically draining my time off watching TV programmes with the 2 other duty medics and the 2 ambulance drivers.

Ever since im into Buddhism, I would be spending my Vesak Day volunteering in temple activities. I initially planned to have a meditation retreat during my duty... however, my plan couldn't be too "serious" as my other colleagues are around. So i had to just keep them company, be at the present moment with them. But after going through 2 slacking days in the medical centre, i came to thought of the significance of Vesak Day for me. Perhaps the word 'celebrate' wouldn't be appropriate... 'commemorate' would be a better term.

Ultimately we still have to get down to the point for us Buddhist practitioners. Does Vesak Day mean going to temples to bath the baby prince Gotama, light candles, meditation, do some chanting or participate 3 step 1 bow just for that day? Im not saying we're supposed to do this everyday or not participate in these activities. As students of the Teacher, we should follow His instructions and fulfull His wish for us to get liberated. We have to practice consistently everyday... cultivate the virtues and qualities of what the Buddha taught so that we can carry on the teachings and have many more Vesak Days ahead of us. Although Vesak Day is just a one day event, there would be many follow-ups to do.. and that would be our cultivation... Avoiding Evil, Doing Good and Purifying the Mind.

Opening the Eye of Gratitude thru Compassion

2006-05-01T20:42:00.000+08:00

I had a memorable 3 day Freshmen Orientation camp from 28-30th April at Phor Kark See organised by the Singapore Polytechnic Buddhist Society. Before the camp opening which was in the evening, my band, Voicegraffiti, had a rehearsal at the PKS studio for the Vesak @ Orchard performance from the morning till just right before the camp started. I developed a little cough and sore throat due to over physical exhaustion and lack of rest the night before.

The best part was that i was informed at the very last minute to be the group leader for the camp which i kindly obliged as they lack of manpower and i wanted their camp to be a success. Initially i only volunteered to be the camp medic and performer for the buddhist hymns session. That day, Tobbie offered his whole packet of Fisherman Lozenges for me to eat and relieve the sore throat.

Things turned out quite alright for me until the first night when the organisers started their meeting and i was being called in from midnight till 3am in the morning. That left me like 2 and a half hours of sleep before getting up early at 5.30am in the morning. And of course my cough and sore throat worsened on that day due to all the activities. It was so bad that it affected my communication with my group members and team morale... that night Chun Ming gave me a pack of Chinese Herbal tea and MeiHui got Pi Pa Gao for me to drink to relieve my throat problem. That night, i really got to understand my SPBS juniors better after all the activities... i can really see all the care and concern they gave me. Im really thankful for them.

The last day of the camp... Bro Richard came to give a Dhamma talk... Although he talked about the same thing i attended as the first lesson for meditation appreciation course before which was managing the mind, it still inspires me spiritually and made me reflect deeply on my illness. It's not the illness that cause me to be upset... it only conditions me to be upset.... but i can CHOOSE not to be upset...

When i eventually got home, my dad and mom brewed Chinese tea and medicine for me to drink... Maybe being sick isn't that bad afterall, could be a family get together excuse... Compassion is the key... grateful to all sentient beings who in one way or another for in one way or another made me what i am today.

From Cradle to Grave... & Back Again!!!

2006-04-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

Today i witnessed the cremation ceremony of my grandma and the funeral rites & rituals the night before... can't believe my relatives especially the older generation are so superstitious and serious about those rituals... anyway all these are done for "wayang" purposes to make it look formal and to please them.

As for my grandma, heard from the nurses who witnessed her death to be quite a struggle. She was gasping heavily for air before passing away. Doesn't sound like a peaceful death to me... Anyway, its not easy for anybody to become enlightened and free from defilements... juz hope that she can be reborn in a good environment whereby she could practice the Dhamma. My dad commented on his knowledge he got from the Tibetan book from the Dead... about the 4 elements(earth, water, wind and fire) disintegrating and the symptoms appearing during the process of death. Quite interesting...

i hope im ready for death. Meditation is one way to prepare myself... have to let go of the body to reach the mind level which is quite similar to the dying process. Just have to practice more to be adept in it... Practice makes perfect... nobody is perfect... when one realizes that there was nobody at the first place, then perfection is attained. May i let go the will to live... may i not be back to the cradle after the grave again!

Death

2006-04-17T23:10:00.000+08:00

Grandma was clinically dead i hospital today, received a call from my dad in the afternoon when I was in BS... I did a puja to dedicate merits for her. The doctor said she died of pneumonia, a lung infection. Dad says her body is still warm and believes that her counsciousness is still in the body... so i'll be visiting her quite often and to dedicate merits to her whenever i do a good deed.

When i came back, dad told me of the funeral plans... it would be held at the shophouses beside Phor Kark See Monastery since the cremation would be in the temple on this coming Friday. It so happened that i took 1 week leave to help out in the CCA booths for the poly Buddhist Societies so i'll juz go to the funeral at the start which is tomorrow and every following nite till friday. I intend to help out my dad and give him the support he needs in this period as he was the one who's closer to grandma. Although he wasn't behaving very emotionally... but i can feel some upsetness within him.

Death is a natural process... but people do not see it that way. People shun away from what they do not like as they cling on to the mundane world. It is only by reflecting on death that we understand that we are all subjected to this suffering and we want to think abt getting past suffering... that is where people look forward to see the dhamma.. for dhamma is the solution to end suffering.

Truth dispels fear... death is certain, the time of death is uncertain, how one dies is uncertain. When we breathe in, we may not live to breathe out and when we breathe out, we may not live to breathe in. Everything is impermanent, clinging on to what is impermanent is suffering. May we learn to let go and be at peace with ourselves. May all beings be well and happy!

Old Age

2006-04-08T22:57:00.000+08:00

When i took nights off from camp on tuesday and went home, i found that my grandma was missing. Got news from dad and bro that she was being hospitalised for falling unconscious. her blood glucose level was like 21 due to her diabetic condition... way too high from the normal range of 4-8... think thats the reason why she went comatose.

Today my dad brought the family to visit her. Her GCS level was like below 15... semi conscious.. eyes closed, disorientated, moaning but can react to stimuli. Also heard form the latest report that she had lung infection, and blood clots in her brain which may lead to stroke.

Dad whispered mantras into her ears while i sent metta and karuna to her. Dad was very calm and realistic into these kind of matters as he gave my brother a Dhamma talk on old age, death and impermanence on the spot because he's still quite young and it's his first time seeing a sick person in hospital. He told us that one day it may be his turn and eventually our turn to lie down there like that and waiting to die.

I felt kind of sad when i saw him helplessly trying his best to "save" his mom. I also reflected on the time when this situation befall on me... will i be able to save my own parents and loved ones? Im definitely not ready yet... im not enlightened, and i still cant help liberate them as i do not have the skills to teach them the path to freedom... Im still working hard on my mental development... meditating everyday in camp and trying to be mindful every moment... juz storing all the energies, accumulating merits thru doing community work... all to be paid off when i get ordained for the final goal... Nibbana!

May all being be well and happy!

Power of Concentration

2006-03-19T21:08:00.000+08:00

Finally, some truth had been unravelled by Bro Richard when i attended the Abhidhamma class. He compared the popular Pa Auk Sayadaw meditation system with his master, the late Ven. Amatha Gavesi. Pa Auk system is more regimental at the beginning as he require his students to develop the concentration by focusing on the breath/nimitta for 2 hrs at least without stray thoughts. High standard indeed but will definitely achieve psychic abilities when developed into jhanas. Whereas the other method is just fast concentration... 45 minutes of nimitta before proceeding to jhanas and quicker to vipassana. It is then that i learned after the silencing stage of vipassana that the yogi is required to do hours of samatha... that is the part that i did not go through yet... Once im done with that stage, i could go easily into the Pa Auk system or any other forest tradition.

Why do people in the past during the Buddha's time can attain sainthood easily even just by listening to a talk?
Bcuz India is a spiritual hub whereby many people practise yoga to improve their concentration as part of their lifestyle. Even till now, psychic phenomena are very common and there are many saints in India. www.amazingabilities.com
So theres no short cut to enlightenment afterall... juz work hard and meditate.

Cutting Edge

2006-03-10T23:27:00.000+08:00

I've been in 42 SAR for 2 weeks already. Its in Sungei Gedong camp which is near to my house as there is a bus service that passes by near my house but i have to stay in whereas some of the people in other units there are living like in tampines or bedok but gets to book out everyday after 5.30pm...(what an irony).

Unit life is really very different, but getting use to it soon. Made some interesting friends, mostly medics since i have to meet them most of the time. Im going to end my On the Job Training phase soon which was a lot of fun since we get to play with medical equipments, draw blood from each other, screen patients and ride an ambulance.

I heard there is an SOC test next week which i have to clear it within 10 minutes... I've been like slacking and not doing exercise for more than 3 months already. Moreover, even at the peak of my fitness in BMT i only get to clear the SOC in 10.26 minutes... Chances of passing the SOC is very slim.

Just got news that i'll be going to Taiwan for some exercise cover. So i'll be away from 9th of April to 29th of April. Both good and bad news... Good news is that i can go overseas and get some exposure. Bad news is that i would be missing my Abhidhamma course lessons, less time to rehearse for the Bodhi Walk performance, missing in action for SPBS FO camp and being left out in other miscellaneous projects like Vesak Day.

I felt kinda at a loss when i heard im going to overseas because I've been going overseas with my parents so many times already to different countries which i feel its kinda boring. Because entertainment and leisure is not what i wanted out if the overseas trip. It makes you only excited temporarily... impermanence. That wasn't true happiness...

Some people talk about travelling around the world... we've been reborn around the world or even worlds for the matter for so many aeons already... what could be so interesting about a certain place which would not last long(referring to both your interest and the place).

Happiness can be found over here within youself and not overseas.

Slow & Steady Wins the Race

2006-02-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

Yeah, i've got nights off for tonite and tomorrow all thanks to out platoon for winning the MOCC...

It all started with the Medical Obstacle Course Challenge set up by our company to pit the 4 platoons against each other to see who's the best. The winner will get 2 nights off while the other teams will get 1 nights out. I was participating in that telematch in the CPR station. Everyone, including the other teams, were putting their best efforts to win and its was an exciting moment for all of us.

The most unusual thing i've learnt is that speed doesn't mean anything. Although speed consists of some points, doing the procedures proper is also important. What we managed to see in 2 out of 2 rounds is that our platoon did not complete the race first. However, we got the highest marks. That shows that the other teams were rushing for time to complete it fast but yet did not gain the most points to win.

That applies to everything in life when you want to learn something. In meditation, no point rushing to get into various levels of concentration and insight if you do not do it properly. A person just doing the nimitta happily for an hour might be better than a person who rushes into jhanas and insight within the same amount of time. Because ultimately its all about being honest with and understand ourself. Its the quality, attitude towards what we are doing and the process that counts. The results are not meant to be worried about because that is supposed to be the end product, the cumulation of everything we've done and has given rise. So dun expect anything and just dumb dumb do it!

To Shoot or Not to Shoot?

2006-02-19T01:55:00.000+08:00

The standard question and also a hot topic for discussion among the Buddhist circle(ok other religions as well). Seems quite relevant to me since im now in the army. The answer to this have never been so clear until i've reattended one lesson of the BBC at SL last week.

Our national education has taught us to be patriotic and in the case of soldiers in the army we were trained to follow orders and fight for our country. On the other hand, Buddhist morality encourages us to abstain from killing which is part of the 5 precepts. So are there grey spots between the 2? Lets take a simple case study of 2 countries which have gone through the same conditioning and is about to wage war upon each other:

- Country A will tell their soldiers to kill Country B's soldiers so as to protect their people and vice versa

- Country C being a neutral party will view it as being foolish for the 2 countries to wage war with each other.

Religions, being a universal teaching of love and compassion would take the stand of Country C. Whereas Countries A and B are just what some people call "localised truth". They only care for their own interest. Perhaps this answers the question.

As for what is the right thing to do, that would really depend on the soldier and his mind state at that moment when he decides to shoot or not. As for me, I would adopt the peaceful approach, I could not bear to shoot anyone down. But who knows, at that point of time when there is a moment of fear for my life I would shoot to protect myself. The mind is a tricky thing.. needs a lot of cultivation to get unshaken by anything.

And that example was being linked to the Abhidhamma lesson on the states of unwholesome consciousness pertaining to wrong view. Anything rooted to greed, aversion and delusion is wrong view. Therefore many of our society norms and propaganda is considered as wrong view.

The Mystery of the Meditation Master

2006-02-11T22:40:00.000+08:00

I finally get to attend the Abhidhamma class by Bro Richard(http://cms.basicbuddhism.org/) after missing it last week due to a Chinese New Year performance at PKS. Was quite surprised that my poly classmate attended both BBC and Abhidhamma classes together with some SPBS members. He used to be so turned "off" with such classes due to his lifestyle.

Anyway, one interesting thing i learnt today is about Ven Amatha Gavesi's tradition/style of meditation which Bro Richard used to teach. Im kinda impressed with the way he guides his students rapidly through the stages of concentration and insight that it seemed so easy and possible for any earnest practitioner to reach sainthood. No meditation teacher I've encountered so far has taught so openly as to go to the extent of troubleshooting the individual students' mistakes straightaway in detail and precision. The difference in the style has also caused some controversy with regards to its genuity compared to other popular practices such as Ajhan Chah or Pa Auk Sayadaw system of doing the Jhanas and Vipassana.

One of the accounts Bro Richard gave was on how his master derived that meditation style... from celestial beings... Dhamma deities who protected the Dhamma taught Ven Amatha Gavesi this method of training which made him an Arahant. There are many accounts of which many accomplished meditation masters such as Phra Ajhan Mun had visions of Buddha and His disciples and learnt the Dhamma from Them.

So even if this human realm doesn't have many highly attained spiritual guides... at least there are beings higher than us who are willing to guide those who are sincere in the practice... all thanks to the historical Shakyamuni Buddha who opened this "valve" for the heavens to help out. Cool isn't it?

As the popular Buddhist slogan goes: Come and see, don't just believe!

United Polytechnic Buddhist Community

2006-02-05T19:12:00.000+08:00

Dear Brothers and Sisters of the Dhamma,

This email is sent to inform you the existence of this group called the United Polytechnic Buddhist Community (UPBC) that is being formed recently with the aid of Shanyou and Phor Kark See Youth Ministry. UPBC consists of alumnis from Singapore Polytechnic Buddhist Society, Ngee Ann Polytechnic Buddhist Society and Nanyang Polytechnic Buddhist Society. Being alumnis from one of these institutions, you are automatically a member of the UPBC.

The objectives of the UPBC are to:
Continue Dhamma learning and provide spiritual support for alumni and undergraduates
Assist Buddhist Societies handle big events that
Create a social platform for students and alumnis to have fellowship
Guide undergraduates and the management committee

If you want to be informed of the latest news on the upcoming events, we would require you to send a reply email with your particulars such as:
Name,
Address,
Email address,
Contact number (hp)
Year which you graduated from polytechnic
Any areas of expertise you would like to contribute to the UPBC or to the Buddhist Societies
No membership fee is required. You can email me at ck_fe@yahoo.com if you have any enquiries.

Looking forward to see you and wishing you a happy Chinese New Year!

With metta,
Chun Kiang
Chairman
UPBC

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!!

2006-01-29T23:21:00.000+08:00

Just about time to post this on time for the Chinese New Year. Been through Chinese New Year celebrations for around 20 years already... the good thing about this is about reunion and building bonds between relatives which we seldom get to meet due to our hectic lifestyle. However, I disagree with many customs, traditions and practices whch have been passed down. Much of which we call it wrong rites, rituals and practices in Buddhism due to the lack of Right View and Understanding.

1) The top of my priority list is gambling... family members and relatives get together to have this informal social recreational activity. I've been visiting the homes of around 4-5 relatives today... and they will set up the gambling table when everyone has arrived to play Blackjack(which i find it very boring and doesn't stimulate the intellect). Though I've been encouraged by many relatives to play on the table i kindly rejected their offer because i do not see much benefit from such activity. Everyone on the table just cares about their cards and the money and not about getting to know the other party better. When a player wins money from other players, he not only takes the money, but takes grudges from those players as well. When a player loses, he experiences Dukkha(suffering) as well.

Defeat begets sorrow
Victory begets enmity
The wise gives up both victory and defeat
Thus he's the ultimate winner
-exerpt from the Dhammapada in my own words...lol cuz i can't remember the verse

After reflecting on this, i realise this not only applies to gambling... it also applies to many other things such as the computer games im playing. When i play/challenge with another player, victory and defeat also comes into play... Well this world can't be away from the 8 worldly conditions:

fame, defame, gain, loss, praise, blame, pleasure, pain

If i can have the moral restraint to avoid gambling, i shall avoid playing such games as well to reduce the volition of the restless mind.

2) Next up is the belief of bringing good luck and whatever by spring cleaning or wearing new clothes for the new year. Such superstitious practices and beliefs really show how blinded people can be... If you want wealth, work harder for it. If you want good health, adopt a healthy lifestyle... not by being the first to shove some joss sticks in some Chinese temple or wadeva funny things(that even goes for praying to higher divinity)... Its like trying to get a durian tree by planting apple seeds... we have to work with the right cause for the right effect to take place. Common sense isn't it? Here's an experpt of a story of something similar during the Buddha's time(MN: 7 Vatthupama Sutta The Simile of the Cloth):

15. Now at that time the brahman Sundarika Bharadvaja 18 was seated not far from the Blessed One, and he spoke to the Blessed One thus: "But does Master Gotama go to the Bahuka River to bathe?"
"What good, brahman, is the Bahuka River? What can the Bahuka River do?"
"Truly, Master Gotama, many people believe that the Bahuka River gives purification, many people believe that the Bahuka River gives merit. For in the Bahuka River many people wash away the evil deeds they have done."

16. Then the Blessed One addressed the brahman Sundarika Bharadvaja in these stanzas:19
Bahuka and Adhikakka,20
Gaya and Sundarika,
Payaga and Sarassati,
And the stream Bahumati —
A fool may there forever bathe, Yet will not purify his black deeds.
What can Sundarika bring to pass?
What can the Payaga and the Bahuka?
They cannot purify an evil-doer,
A man performing brutal and cruel acts.
One pure in heart has evermore
The Feast of Cleansing21 and the Holy Day;22
One pure in heart who does good deeds
Has his observances perfect for all times.
It is here, O brahman, that you should bathe23
To make yourself a safe refuge for all beings.
And if you speak no untruth,
Nor work any harm for breathing things,
Nor take what is not offered,
With faith and with no avarice,
To Gaya gone, what would it do for you?
Let any well your Gaya be!

17. When this was said, the brahman Sundarika Bharadvaja spoke thus:
"Magnificent, Master Gotama! Magnificent, Master Gotama! The Dhamma has been made clear in many ways by Master Gotama, as though he were righting the overthrown, revealing the hidden, showing the way to one who is lost, or holding up a lamp in the dark for those with eyesight to see forms.

18. "I go to Master Gotama for refuge, and to the Dhamma, and to the Sangha. May I receive the [first ordination of] going forth under Master Gotama, may I receive the full admission!

19. And the brahman Sundarika Bharadvaja received the [first ordination of] going forth under the Blessed One, and he received the full admission. And not long after his full admission, dwelling alone, secluded, diligent, ardent and resolute, the venerable Bharadvaja by his own realization understood and attained in this very life that supreme goal of the pure life, for which men of good family go forth from home life into homelessness. And he had direct knowledge thus: "Birth is exhausted, the pure life has been lived, the task is done, there is no more of this to come."
And the venerable Bharadvaja became one of the Arahats.

http://accesstoinsight.org/canon/sutta/majjhima/mn-007-nt2.html

Hm.. ok that's all i have to comment because i don't really know the wide variety of Chinese New Year traditional practices. I'll write more about it when i get more input.

License to Rescue

2006-01-28T10:05:00.000+08:00

Yea, I've completed the first half of the combat medic course which means im a level 1 paramedic. The lessons seem to get more interesting every week with upgraded needle size(the current size of the needle is like a yakult straw) for intravenous infusion and many tests along the way(practical and theory papers as well). Renewed my CPR certification and now waiting to take up the license to shock.

Wishing everyone a Happy Chinese New Year!

Happy 2006!

2006-01-01T14:50:00.000+08:00

A new year has come, went to PKS for spiritual countdown. The programme was filled with great Buddhist hymns performed by the legendary Boddhicitta, SunnyRain, Kang Qi and friends. There were also other great performing groups who did skits, percussions and stuff. Good to see the familiar faces after being isolated away from the Buddhist community for some time because of National Service. Time is waiting for no one... i'll have to work harder ot achieve my goals before my lifespan ends.

Learnt a great deal for the week... especially through Intravenous(IV) fusion lessons. we learnt how to poke the IV needle into someone(though not very good at it yet since its the first lesson). Everyone has to Jab each other into the arm and drip a bag of saline solution into each other... Seems scary and painful before the lessons(mental pain caused by worry and fear) but the actual jab is just like a bee sting. Thinking is just a habitual way of self torture and abuse.

I also see the inportance of having a calm and clear mind in such "life and death" scenario when we poke the needle into each other's veins and see blood oozing out, some like fountain... and we have to know what to do the next step when things got messy and bloody.

Seek, Save, Serve

2005-12-24T00:34:00.000+08:00

This is the combat medic mantra which im being posted to. This is the ideal vocation any practitioner should go to. Seeking the truth, saving lives and serving all sentient beings. In Buddhism, this is called Right Livelihood. No life is taken, no weapons, flesh, livestock, poison and intoxicants are being traded. Giving life is a meritorious deed, this role gives a good chance to cultivate a lot of compassion to those suffering.

I think a medic is a very noble and heroic job despite all the biased publicity given to me during BMTC. Im contented to be posted as a medic. Met a good instructor in there. He talked about something simple and yet profound which reminded me about Ajahn Brahm's teachings. Some of the guys weren't happy being posted to combat medic, however his motivational speech inspired us which i quote:

"I used to think like all of you. I don't wanna be a combat medic initially but since posted here got no choice. I sleep early so that the next day comes early and when the day goes by fast, the weekends come fast. Although the lectures are hard, I make myself love the lecture so that the day past by faster and less tougher."

I guess this applies to every aspect of our life. Whenever we dread doing something, we are in prison. Whenever we do what we want, we are free... be it eating, working or staying at a certain place. Its all about adapting. We're just caging ourselves up mentally.

Looking at blood, flesh and other body parts of the casualty also gives a very good reflection on death and impurities of the body. Life is so fragile as all kinds of injuries can happen and can cause death. May I learn to treasure life and make use of this precious human life to work hard to achieve my goals and not to slack. Seeing all those impurities, the human body may not seem to me as beautiful as it seems. May I learn not to get vain or deluded with lust and learn to let go of the body.

Here & Now

2005-12-15T03:19:00.000+08:00

Had a deep and interesting conversation with my mom over supper which gave me lots of inspiration...

I had always wanted to get ordained as a monk as soon as possible so that i may see the truth. I was given a green light by my dad and a red light by my mom initially. As time goes by, her red light soon turns into orange as my determination was there and she could see the kindness in me resulting from my practice. But as I got into National Service, time is drawing nearer to my "independance" as she gave all out to dissuade me from monkhood.

Her main concern was financial issues, which is starting to get into my concern. How am I able to support my parents financially upon their retirement if I were to become a monk straightaway? What gave me inspiration was her sharing of ideas of what she felt life was about which i quote:
"Life is meant to be simple. You do not have to go all the way to Thailand to be a monk to help others. You can start to help people over here. You can still be a layman and be good as long as you have the Buddha nature in your heart."
The truth in these words struck me deep(sounds ZENish) as she goes on sharing life examples of her generosity and charitable acts which resulted in her wealth and happiness as a layperson she is today.

What she speaks of is the happiness of a laity by offering aid to the needy financially and I rejoiced in her actions. However i still felt that there is something more... compassion began to arouse in me when i thought of her and all the needy people she had helped. The suffering they had relieved themselves were of physical pain. The happiness they experienced were mundane and material. As long as there is desire in their minds they will never be truly happy.

One of the possibilities which I discussed with my dad was I get a job after national service until my younger brother starts to be independant. Once he can contribute financially then I could go forth in peace. Perhaps i should go and consult the sangha on this matter. My dad even harped on me to go find out more on other monasteries to see which is more suitable for me.

When i thought about it, it reminded me of my childhood when i was told to do "future planning"... things like planning which high school to go to, which university to go to and after that which line of occupation I would want to be in and stuff like that... Which i thought was "futile future planning" because all this is just an imagination which may not be true as time passes by and conditions may change. Moreover, i cant be bothered to think too far cuz it gives me a headache.

I always believed in doing the best for everything for that moment and not to choose until it is time to choose(when we really hit the crossroads). Well... just gotta do things one step at a time and be focused of the present moment...Here and Now!

POP

2005-12-07T15:05:00.000+08:00

6th Dec 2005 - the day when i graduated from BMTC. The day when i bid farewell to all my buddies and my sergeants i've known for 3 months. Thanks for helping me pull through the 3 months of training.

Some people wonder why I didn't bring my parents to see the passing out parade(POP). Well to me its just another phase of life. We're simply putting value into certain timeframe of our life which makes the event look important. The fact is every second of our life is important, it's just how much we treasure it only. Therefore i see no need to make such a hoo-ha for the so called "important" events.

Achieved a lot from all the training. cleared SOC in 10.24 min, championed BMTC School 2 in drill competition for Scorpion company and got a silver for IPPT. Even got to form a band to perform for OC evening which got selected to perform for Recruits Nite.

Now taking a break from army to relax before i get posted to a new unit on the 19th Dec. clearing all the block leaves and day offs in one go.

Command and Conquer

2005-10-22T23:41:00.000+08:00

It has been weeks ever since my company is propagating the "join us and be a commander" campaign. There's this Express Interest talk and a form to fill up to record everyone's opinions of being a commander. Before filling up the form a train of thoughts ran through my mind...

Shall i become a commander just for the pay? my family isn't doing very well financially... but i have to look deeper than that cuz it'll affect the 2 years of my military life. On the other hand, being a commander, i have to train to kill enemy soldiers and also teach my men under me to do likewise which is creating lots of negative karma. But being put into a situation where i've got absolutely no choice to say No to being a commander, all i did was to put yes and tick "probably" all the way instead of the strongly agree or disagree.

The rest of my fate is up to SAF to see where shall i go to. In the end, im still training not to control my fate but to be at peace in whatever situation arises and react accordingly. Its just another junction in life... already been through choosing sec schools after PSLE, tertiary institutes after 'O' levels and etc... Always worrying so much but life still has to go on. The problem lies in the mind, have to conquer it so that will not have anymore such problems.

Here's a quote from the Dhammapada:
Verse 103. Self-Conquest Is The Highest Victory
"Though thousand times a thousand in battle one may conquer,yet should one conquer just oneselfone is the greatest conqueror."
Explanation: One may conquer a thousand men in a thousand battles. But the person who conquers just one person, which is one’s own self, is the greatest conqueror.

Life In Tekong

2005-10-08T17:14:00.000+08:00

Hm... been training in Tekong for about a month already. Lets see what could i recall before i gotta book in again for guard duty.

enlisted into BMTC Sch 2 Scorpion company, Platoon 3, Section 4, bed 13. so i got this 4D number 3413. As stated, BMT is really like a school. There are many lessons such as lectures, physical training and military training. Good thing i was from NPCC before, so i could adapt to the regimental lifestyle there easily. Being the best welfare company, we get to slack more than our neighbouring companies(Taurus, Ulysses, Viper and Whiskey). Made lotsa interesting friends and enjoyed my stay there.

For some guys who havent got into NS or for ladies who wanna understand what BMT is about:

Distribution:
BMTC(Basic Military Training Camp) is divided into 2 schools which consists of 26 companies. Each company is designated with an alphabet.(for eg. S for Scorpion). That means School 1 consists of the 1st 13 alphabets and school 2 consists the other 13 alphabets.
Each Company consists of 4 platoons, each platoon consists of 4 sections and each section consists of 12-13 men.(so if you were to calculate 1 platoon is around 50 recruits and 1 company has 200 recruits.)

Lodgings:
Each company is like a 5 storey HDB flat. the 1st floor being the office and store room. while the subsequent floors for each platoon. each floor has 4 rooms for the 4 sections and each room has 12-13 beds for the individual recruits. Hm... Juz need to bring lotsa medium and large ziplock bags for the field pack, lotsa clothehangars + pegs, black pen, pencil, lotsa underwear, a set of civilian clothes, some cash of around $30 and lotsa black tape for start. Other than that, SAF will provide recruits with padlock + key, towel, soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, shaver, body powder, insect repellant, a big cupboard and a nice bed.

Hierachy:
Each School would be headed by a CO(commanding officer) and each company is headed by an OC(officer in command). There would be a "discipline master" for the school called the SSM(school sergeant major) and a discipline master for each company called the CSM(company sergeant major). The 2nd incharge for each company would be called the 2IC. Each platoon would have a PC(platoon commander) which is an officer overseeing their individual platoon. there would be a PS(platoon sergeant) executing the orders for the PC. the PS would have another 4 sergeants to take care of each section. They are called the section commanders.

Post BMT:
Guess this is the most crucial part where the rest of the 2 years of national service will be spent on your unit. Basically the recruit's "fate" is already determined after the IQ tests and medical checkup at CMPB. however the recruit can become an officer depending on his performance in BMT and go to OCS(officer cadet school) if he's the cream of the crop. For the above average recruits, they'll just get into SISPEC(school of infantry specialist) to become sergeants. those average and below will become low ranking soldiers(private to corporal) at the end of BMT.

Lessons:
There's a wide range of lessons/courses to learn. Weapon handling, combat training, physical training, military knowledge, fieldcraft, anger/stress/financial etc...management lessons, first aid, swimming, marksmenship, grenade throwing, drills, NS songs and much, much more...

think this should be enough to keep some guys from being too blur when they get into NS.

Re: What brought you to Buddhism?

2005-09-09T01:12:00.000+08:00

Hi Peifen,

Guess i'll do my last sharing before i enter national service later on today...haha.

1. Had been motivated to Buddhism thru several events down my life:
a) studied in Faith Methodist Church during nursery and kindergarten. Read the bible and was interested to know the truth.
b) been asking questions about life since early childhood. Eg. Why do i feel "I" for myself and not on others? Were my parents really my parents?
c) tried D.I.Y meditation without any guidance in primary school. had several close encounters to experiencing out of body experience. Somehow my attachment to my life and body gave rise to lots of fear which did not make the out of body experience fruitful. Seems more like near death experience to me. From these experiences, i know that meditation is the only answer to finding the truth i've been seeking since young.
d) eventually got to learn meditation from a lay teacher and was introduced to jhanas during secondary school.
e) parents divorced the year before 'O' levels. my grades dropped from the highest in class to the last few. That incident broke my perception of the Singaporean dream of 5C's, getting married and etc... for happiness. From then onwards had an unshakable aspiration to join the order of the sangha to seek the truth. Chanelled all my energies into volunteering Buddhist activities than to studies.

2. I was first introduced to Buddhism during primary school when my dad started doing meditation and reading Dhamma books. My family wasn't a Buddhist family then. I started trying D.I.Y meditation and reading Dhamma books too out of curiosity.

3. It is after learning vipassana meditation that changed my life. Able to learn to see things in a very different perspective instead of a very deluded mindset. Won't cling to so many things, able to let go... feel so much lighter and happier. I became less selfish and became more generous. Had more compassion and lovingkindness to all beings... used to be afraid of cockroaches, now i can just pick them up with my bare hands, say a few words of good will before releasing it outside<--Precepts really helped alot...Life was more wholesome taking the precepts and getting into less trouble. Imagine if i took up drinking and smoking, my life would face many social problems. Hm... guess there are too many ways the Dhamma can work that i do not have time to think thru and state everything. Hope this info would be useful.

With metta,
Chun Kiang

--- Pei Fuen Ng <calmness@gmail.com> wrote:
> Dear friend,> I'm preparing for a talk for NUS Buddhist Society> next week about "Buddhism > for lay people: Unleashing the Buddha within".> Cheem topic right? Haha, I thought it sounded like> letting loose a wild > animal. haha, but we know what the organisers mean> lah.> While scratching my head hard, I was reflecting on> the reasons and causes > for the arising of religious urgency. Why and under> what conditions do > normal, pleasure- and happiness-seeking people take> to Buddhism?> 1. Did you start to get interested in Buddhism> because of a life-changing > event? Please share about that event!> 2. What attracted you to Buddhism?> 3. How does the Buddhism work for you in your lay> life?> Would appreciate if you can share briefly about> your spiritual path along > those lines. =)> I promise to share the results of the responses> that I get in return.> Thank you! Looking forward to your sharing.> With metta> Peifen>

Tiratana Gatha (The Three Jewels)

2005-09-06T03:43:00.000+08:00

Yea... i finally managed to put music into my blog... thanks to xinhao for teaching me this.
The CD for this song in full version is available for sale @ http://moonpointer.com/bodhicitta/Refuge.htm
Ok enough of advertisement.. here are the lyrics:

Yo vadatam pavaro manujesu
Sakyamuni bhagava kata kicco
Para gato bala viriya samangi
Tam sugatam saranattha mupemi

Raga viraga maneja – masokam
Dhamma – masankhata mappati kulam
Madhura mimam pagunam suvibhattam
Dhamma – mimam saranattha mupemi

Yattha ca dinna mahapphala – mahu
Catusu sucisu purisa yugesu
Attha ca puggala dhamma dasate
Sangha – mimam saranattha mupemi

-The English Translation-

Who is the supreme speaker
amongst mankind, Sakya Sage,
O Holy One, Whose task is done.
Gone beyond (this round of rebirths)
possessed of power and energy.
To Thee, the Welcome One,
I go for refuge!

Exempt from lust,
from craving, sorrow-free.
Law unconditioned and delectable,
sweet, potent, profoundly analytical.
To this very Dhamma I go for refuge!

Whate'er is given bears fruit 'tis said,
There are four Pure Pairs of Persons
and these Eight, are people
who have realised the truth.
To this very Sangha I go to refuge

Let it Be

2005-09-04T21:34:00.000+08:00

Been talking to lotsa people regarding national service lately... my cousin and my buddy yao feng who shared with me lotsa experience about the army training. Used to get worried over such things but after some time the anxiety just died down... impermanence.

Now my mentality is let it be... juz go in and let the army train me bah. Already did some shopping to buy NS stuff and finally returned the hair for hope donation card. This is the time to clear all unfinished business and let go lotsa things...I've been slogging for so long, take this time to retire and break from all activities. i think this ns thingy is a good preparation for my ordination in future and also to preapare for death... let it come, let it be, let it go...

Used to have this insight when i was playing monopoly, at the climax of the game when i accumulated lots of money and property, all the players were called to help out somewhere and we had to just end the game abruptly like that. reflects very well in life when we work so hard to accumulate so much material wealth and death will rob it all away...

The answer to happiness lies in the letting go of attachment.

Unravelling the Mysteries of Mind and Body

2005-08-28T21:30:00.000+08:00

Whew, attended an inspiring NUSBS agm on Friday . Good to see Dhamma lineage carrying on in them. Sadhu x 3! At least they are heading on the right direction... Glad to see SPBS on the right track as well before i go to NS. Finally can let go of BS le... mission accomplished.

Next morning, went to help Sabrina and Kah Hoe in the door-to-door distribution of flyers of Shanyou Mid Autumn Charity concert at juring east. whew... i sorta cleared 4 HDB flats in the morning before i rushed off for my first ever Abhidhamma class @ Cheng Beng.

Man.. the Abhidhamma course is really simplified... much easier to understand and appreciate better, all thanks to Sayalay Susilo, who was the speaker of the 6 lesson course. She has written a very user friendly book on comprehensive Abhidhamma... much easier to digest than other Abhidhamma books which look more like a dictionary. Ah... don't understand why got 7 javanas or why is the arrangement of the bhavangas and javanas like that... i missed the previous Abhidhamma class months back... so too bad for the new comers as she din want to explain and take up too much time. The course is really inpsiring and of course motivating for ppl to practise and discern the mind and matter with the power of concentration. Imagine yogis who can see the elements of any object or the skeleton of other people through the development of concentration...

Got to meet up with Bro. Richard once again cuz he was attending the course as well. Finally clarified with him the different systems of meditation absorptions into the jhanas between Ven Amatha Gavesi and Pa Auk Tawya Sayadaw. Guess i have lotsa stuff to learn and relearn. He gave me his new website www.vajiro.org

I finally ended my volunteer work as a Sunday school teacher in PKS as it was the last lesson of the year. Was very touched by my students who made me cards and gave me flowers in gratitude and also to celebrate Teachers' Day in advance. Guess i won't get to see them again when i get into NS. Glad that many of them have benefitted from the classes.

Bald is Natural

2005-08-22T14:42:00.000+08:00

Haha... I've volunteered in the Hair for Hope programme 2 days ago with Katrine and Minggen. Met some friends there to shave their heads as well. Received a donation card to help raise funds for the cancer patients and also registered as a bone marrow donor. The body does not belong to me, they can remove whatever body part they want as long as it saves peoples lives. They took my blood sample from my thumb (i requested it as i needed the other fingers to play the guitar).

With regard to the head shaving, the Jean Yip hairdresser did a very poor job in getting my head shaved evenly. I had to eventually go home to shave it myself. my objective is to get bald to support the cancer patient, not to get punk with hair potruding at angular patches here and there. Being bald is natural and no big deal about it. We are born bald, age bald and end up decaying bald.

After the haircut, went on to Ven Khai Zhao's Dhamma talk. Another inspirational talk on renunciation and letting go from a meditator's lifestyle. Guess i haven't let go lotsa stuff... gotta rate my meditation poor for that... He mentioned that a good yogi won't be interested to hang aroung with crowds or have any kinds of entertainment as he/she has found greater happiness through meditation. A wise yogi would know that all these brings about suffering and would let go of it. Their movements would be peaceful and gentle, opposed to rough and disturbing as they enjoy the peace within and also know that creating unessecary noise would disturb others' peace. They would not waste their energy on chatting, except only when it is necessary or to do anything with spiritual development. He said that with distancing from material pleasures and people do the yogi improve better alone. But the real test comes when the yogi is facing with material and "problematic" people. Will the yogi be able to maintain calm and composed? That's the real challenge. That's the gist of the talk i guess. Need more consistent practise everyday.

Continued with attending Yanyan's birthday party nearby... already bought her birthday gift and of course like any birthday celebration, chat while, eat a bit of the cake and food, play the guitar, watch Paul's magic tricks and bid farewell. Hm.. im sorta surprised that Isaac found himself another girlfriend... sigh... when will people ever learn that affection and lust is suffering...

As for yesterday, had an interesting day learning a the effective learning model:

Feeling,
What if=? the possibilities Why? = Have to give introduction of topic
discussions, role plays w.r.t. the needs of student/ the relevance
Experimentation---------------------- observation
How?= the practical What? = the content of the topic in theory
case studies
conceptualisation

Cool... can able to teach better following this model. Was able to collect aver $200 donations from the PKS Sunday School teachers for my Childrens' Cancer Foundation donation card.

Guitar Dharma?

2005-08-20T00:43:00.000+08:00

Well, finally get to facilitate the first Buddhist hymns session in SPBS for this year on thursday... got around 8 ppl interested to learn. At least the hymns treasure won't be lost. Session was good, able to impart the songs as well teach the Dhamma value of each song to them. Will have to rely on dickson to carry on the guitar lineage... guess Dan and Josh will be to busy with their final year projects.

Just taught Tracia guitar lessons today... she's the only one who turned up... dunno wad happen to the rest... One important lesson to note... free lessons would get lesser commitment from the students. Anyway, its easier to guide just 1 person instead of 7-8 of them. Well she's still figuring out how to change chords quickly after each set... other than that, able to teach some Dhamma. I was using the anology of learning guitar as learning meditation... initially she was trying very hard to strum... lots of effort is required and yet not much fun out of it as she's trying to lay the foundation. Likewise when trying meditation it's so tough to settle the mind initially as it's still restless. After being adept to guitar(i was enjoying myself playing Bee Gees songs while she's still struggling), one could go on and on without stopping... Likewise in meditation, once there is a certain attainment like jhanas, one could sit longer, enjoying ther blissful states of mind with much lesser effort. It's after all just about practise and nothing but practise...

gonna shave my head bald later on today at wisma to support cancer children. kinda look forward to it cuz i missed that last year. I've let go of my hair in early secondary ever since my dad tried on his new haircut equipment on me and gave me a crew cut... haha, used to have longer hair and i remembered i had left parting... so much suffering, have to bother combing it everytime... cant afford to get it messy... get a hair gel... waste more shampoo... lol. It's really a contemplation on the impurities of the body... Hair is not me... hair is impermanent, dissatisfactory when clinging to it for happiness and not self.

Welcome To The School of Hard Knocks

2005-08-15T23:19:00.000+08:00

Yeah, just finish composing and recording this song:"Welcome to the school of hard knocks". Was inspired by Ajahn Brahm in one of his talks about it. Samsara is actually the school of hard knocks whereby we learn and grow from it. If we fail the test, we'll repeat our module and continue in the school of hard knocks till we pass... so we go round and round in samsara, accumulating merits, good karma and paramis to perfect ourselves till we attain enlightenment.
May all of us graduate from samsara. May all difficulties are be part of training and cultivation to grow our wisdom and compassion. May all beings be well and happy!

Guitar Class

2005-08-13T00:52:00.000+08:00

Met up with Siling to shop for his guitar at Bras Basah this morning. Also managed to buy a guitar tuner for myself. I saw an electric guitar for $180... the amp $77... wah lau so cheap.. can invest. Next up was teaching beginners' guitar class at NTU for NTUBS members who requested the lesson. Got around 7 students which was about the same as last year when i taught NUSBS guitar.

Taught them to play the birthday song... hm.. they still haven't got the feel yet... shall print more songs for them to practise.

Thanks to Tracia and Merwin for treating me the green bean soup for teaching them guitar... waha.... when i say i teach for free means its free... think they're not comfortable with that. Its part of my job to ensure that the Buddhist hymns lineage does not gets extinct like once in SPBS. Hm... quite surprised that they can talk about forming a band right at the first lesson without learning the basics. Anyway, seems that they are following the "forming Buddhist Band" trend here... Need to get their Dhamma foundation right first before everyone starts forming bands and go astray like in the Christian community... Next lesson should inject more Dhamma...

I brought some of my school course notes on 'materials' to pass to Jialin as well. Good thing i didn't clear them away into the rubbish chute yet. She wasn't around, so passed to Mabel who stayed in the same hall... glad to know that my 3 yrs of polytechnic education resources isn't that impractical after all... can practise my dana parami... spent quite a few hours sorting out my notes.

At the meantime while waiting for Mabel, gotta chance to see NTUBS maincom interview... wah.. so much competition... its like 8 people "fighting" for one post. They've been interviewing since the past 2-3 days for the sub coms as well for more than 2 hrs each day... Haha... universities BS is so different from polytechnic BS... CCA points doens't really matter in poly, most students aren't matured as they juz grad frm sec sch, inexperience work attitude... guess why not so many poly students get very active and COMMITTED in CCA. Moreover, NTU students need CCA points to get a hostel.

The Art of Arts

2005-08-11T19:53:00.000+08:00

Recently after going through so many learning curves of various skills that i realise that the art of arts is silence. From silence arise insight. I've learned various skills such as drawing, computer gaming, meditation, guitar, song composition and singing. There is progress in that skill only when you put everything down and be one with what you are practising. Just like what Bro Richard taught me in breath meditation: "Just dumb dumb do!" or "No thinking!" and Ajahn Brahm in his talks: "Just do it!"(Nike slogan).

In the Maha-mangala Sutta (SN:II.4) some of the great blessings include: "To have much learning, to be skillful in handicraft,[8] well-trained in discipline,[9] and to be of good speech[10] -- this is the greatest blessing."
http://accesstoinsight.org/canon/sutta/khuddaka/suttanipata/snp2-04a.html

Now i understand why Buddha encourage people to learn a skill or 2... Its useful for cultivation and it also acts as a point for you to help others in that field of expertise. All these skills require patience, effort and determination to progress. It sure cultivates one's perfection/paramis.

Monday Blues

2005-08-09T02:39:00.000+08:00

After 3 days of shagging performances and lack of sleep, i've gotta appointment for eye checkup in SP 9.40am... Gotta help Yiping complete her quota. Anyway its my 2nd time going for an eye checkup there, but this time she's giving me a hard contact lens fitting although i've got 6/6 for my eyesight... i'll see it as a good learning experience for both of us. She gets to practice on the patient(me) while i practise the perfection of giving. It was my first time wearing contact lens.. it felt kind of uncomfortable and my eyes were tearing throughout the whole session. Nevertheless i didn't get myself blind after the whole process of it.

Went home for some rest in the afternoon just to return to SPBS to give teach meditation class in the evening. I felt so happy that i managed to teach my bunch of juniors how to develop their mind object through breath meditation. It was also great to see 2 of my buddies Yao Feng and Wei Fong coming to SPBS as they managed to book out from Tekong. Glad they were doing fine. Finally can have a long rest thanks to National Day.

Wishing Singapore and everyone a Happy National Day!

My Last Performance

2005-08-09T00:36:00.000+08:00

Had a series of performance for the past 3 days from Friday till Sunday despite having cough and flu. Since next month will be going to NS i guess that would be the last performance i will be having before i go. Once in the military, the schedule will be very uncertain. I may get confinement or guard duty anytime.

1st one was NTUBS on Friday. Glad that they had such a big crowd they have for their freshmen welcome tea party. Got to meet up some friends back there and help out with the logistics... Was kinda inspired by the Sunnyrain members who came to perform. The've got an alumni, so does other TIBS except for SPBS. Ended quite late though... gotta rest early for the 2nd performance the next day. Ended up doing SPBS alumni business with Xin Hao over the MSN till early morning ard 2-3am. At least setting up an alumni could help out in the continuity problem we've been facing all the while.

Ooo... when i woke up on saturday morning i was like rushing for brunch and rushing down to awareness place to perform. Had an interesting Dhamma talk by a venerable on the Ulumbana which people misunderstood as Ghost festival. As a PhD holder... the venerable really gave a very comprehensive and detailed history and description on the topic. After performance went to esplanade to see the fireworks followed by dinner. The crowd was definitely humongos... managed to reach home by midnight to rest and prepare my next morning's lesson and performance for Sunday school.

Another tiring Sunday. As usual, i slept in my trainride from CCK to Bishan. That day was a pretty significant as Director Chen is leaving Sunday school as he was being posted to another department to serve the larger community. I really admire the Abbot, Ven Kwang Shen of PKS Monastery of having such great merits. He has so many projects which were being carried out just by voicing out his aspiration. He really sure has a very vast mind to think of all these projects to reach out to the masses. After doing some sing along session with the class, i was requested to come up with a performance for the farewell session of Director Chen during teachers' contact time. I was inspired by his cultivation. Even though he's an old man, yet he is so wise, calm, patient and active in doing Dharma propagation. The way he gives his speeches every assembly is really composed, cool and professional. Think i need to train up my public presentation skills. Managed to have a heart to heart talk with Aloka as he commented on my Buddhist hymns performance. He's another wise old man who is very practical and open. He liked the way i presented Dhamma messages through the songs as it is very captivating to the younger generation who mostly do not bother to know more about religion. Talked to me on various topics and i guess he was hinting to me some ideas which i could compose it into songs as well. At least i know im on the right track...

Im Sick Again

2005-08-05T09:27:00.000+08:00

Its great being sick again! Not that im looking forward to it... just some break from all the things im doing. Finally can rest well after weeks of staying up late. Popping aspirin and sleeping the whole day is refreshing. Its another common allergic rhinitis i have. Nose gets the itch and there comes all the goo...

Haha... got this teaching from Ajahn Brahm... he said that next time you go see a doctor... when the doctor asks whether are you ok? say yea im ok :)
Its normal to be sick. Whoever doesn't get sick isn't ok.

Attended a Dhamma talk in BS 2 days ago... talked about 4 noble truths. 4 noble truths is really a universal method to solve any problem be it spiritual, management or personal. This is for my flu:
1st noble truth: suffering due to sickness(flu)
2nd noble truth: cause of suffering(lack of rest + virus)
3rd noble truth: suffering can be ended
4th noble truth: the path leading to the end of suffering(take medication plus rest well)

Got 2 performances coming up.. one tonight at NTUBS welcome tea party and the other is tomorrow's WSDP roar with the nation pre National Day celebration. Hm... got a blocked nose and cough... wonder how am i going to sing? Good thing im not the lead singer just a guitarist... Ahhoi would do most of the singing... i just give vocal backup.

Its jammin time...

1 More Month

2005-08-02T16:31:00.000+08:00

I got 1 more month to finish my unfinished business before going to NS. Gotta train and get myself physically prepared, gotta compose 3 more songs, gotta guide my brother to study for his PSLE, gotta see through my promise that SPBS runs well and smooth, follow up my songbook project... etc... etc...

So many things to do. Sometimes i do wonder when can let it all go? Are all these things really important? What if i so happen to die now? Does it still matter? Well... guess the most important thing is still spiritual cultivation. To find the peace and happiness in every moment day to day living. It's nothing wrong with having so much chores to do, its the mindstate when handling all these work. Can i still remain mindful when doing all these work, say even when typing this blog?

One of my friends say that we're suffering from PMS(pre military stress). Haha... guess when we don't think too much we don't have stress. We can only think of 2 things... the past and the future. These are actaully all worries and not reality. Learn to live life the fullest by being at the present moment. The mind should be with the body in whatever its doing and not wander somewhere in the past or future. Tough... but its afterall a kind of challenge, a training. Like what the Zen teachings usually say... when you eat, you eat. When you walk, you walk, When you sit, you sit. Stop thinking and just feel what you doing.

More info on what the Buddha taught on how to live mindfully in the suttas (MN:10) or (DN:22) http://accesstoinsight.org/lib/bps/misc/wayof.html#consciousness
http://accesstoinsight.org/canon/sutta/digha/dn-22-tb0.html

Over with Studies... Yeah!!!

2005-07-27T22:06:00.000+08:00

It was my graduation day today. Was good to see some familiar faces back in school. 2 months really changed people alot(especially some of the guys who were in NS already). It was in the Singapore Polytechnic(SP) convention centre whereby we got our diplomas. During some of the slides and presentations, lots of memories of school flashed into my mind. Thoughts of the things which i benefitted from school rose when the video was screening the interviews of various students on how they benefitted and what were their achievements.

I was never really interested in my course of study as i already had the intention of getting ordained as a monk after completion of my national service. I do not find any use of knowing all the equipment and materials of polymer technology when i do not get to see them in a forest monastery in future. Nevertheless it was the process of how i coped with the schoolwork, assignments, projects, presentations, reports and dealing with people which made me grow in wisdom and experience in life.

I learned to do things the smart way and not the hard way. To make full use of my life to do something meaningful and the things that i wanna do requires lots of time... and i can't really afford to waste my time studying my course materials. All the while my concentration was quite good and i was able to absord most of the stuff in class since primary school. You don't get to see me studying at home unless it was the day before the test or the exam. In fact, most of my school hours goes to the Singapore Polytechnic Buddhist Society(SPBS). I spent more time in SPBS clubroom than classrooms. I did more organising and planning for SPBS activities than my schoolwork... Well that's the only thing im interested in campus(wad else can u expect a future monk to be interested in?)

What i really benefitted was the leadership and management skills learnt when i was managing SPBS. Trying to build up a club from scratch and seeing throught its progress for 3 years. This again was inspired by my meditation teacher Bro. Richard. He once said this in his class which i quote:" If you go into an organisation, find it messy, terrible, inefficient and walk away, you are just like anybody else. But if you stay and help to change the organisation to a better one, you are a great person which i will salute." It's just like what the Buddha said about miracles... If a foolish man can be turned to a wise man or an evil man can be turned into a good man, thats a real miracle... That's what persevered me to continue help SPBS into its feet. I gotta admit that running a Buddhist organisation ain't easy cuz you gotta run it in line with the Buddhist principles(which itself is profound enough for majority to understand)... Imagine 1 person in a council who is the only practicing Buddhist...

I remembered the first time when i enrolled to SP, i passed through many CCA booths and the first booth on the line was SPBS. I was so excited then as i expected to continue my spiritual pursuit in my campus life. A place whereby i can study and practise conducively during the breaks or even after school so that I could continue developing my meditation to higher states faster. Haha... true to a certain extent, it does help my mental cultivation alot, but not in terms of meditation.

Some of my achievements in SPBS life were:
-Reviving the SPBS annual magazine, The LOTUS, which ceased production for 5 years.
-Reviving the Buddhist hymns which were lost in the 37th council(nobody knows to play any musical instrument to carry out sing along sessions...gotta stay back after school everyday juz to learn how to play a guitar). Formed a singing group in SPBS
- Formed one of the pioneering Buddhist rock band in Singapore... Voicegraffiti (had several public performances in Buddhist events)
- Composed 7 Buddhist songs so far... aiming for 10 so as to archive in SPBS songbook.
- Co-organising many events with other tertiary institute Buddhist Societies and other Buddhist organisations as well.
- Running SPBS council for 2 yrs.
- Inspiring people and benefitting them through teaching them Dhamma

Well just another quote i learnt from Brother Richard:"Serve to be perfect, be perfect to serve". I'll continue to contribute and help as much as possible. I'll continue to practice my meditation to improve myself so that i can serve better.

Once again, thanks to SP & SPBS for preparing me into the new phase of life. :)

Opening the Door

2005-07-26T04:02:00.000+08:00

I started this blog because i feel i wanna share my experience in life and also to propagate Dhamma as well. Whatever i have learnt in this world, i shall return it by sharing with others no matter how little this knowledge may be. There is no point bringing your life experiences to the grave after struggling so much in life... might as well share and inspire others who tread along the path.

This idea of sharing knowledge to others was inspired by my 1st meditation teacher, Bro (Vajiro)Richard. I've attended 3 different courses conducted by him and also some of his retreats he organised. His website can be found at http://vajiro.tripod.com/. After discovering the beauty of Buddhism, there was no reason to keep the truth but except to share it with others... reminds me of a show called "pass it on".

Next up was Ajahn Brahmavamso. He gave many inspiring talks to teach Dhamma and i really liked it. His talks consists mainly of stories, life experiences and jokes and could link the moral of it to the Dhamma very well. Some of his talks can be found in: http://www.bswa.org/modules/mydownloads/

Guess its time to track back events in my life and also to reflect it with the Dhamma knowledge that i have so that i can learn something out of these events. Maybe i'll need more stories to tell in future when i become a monk.